[The Five Spiritualities Testimony] When I Accepted Everything as ‘My Fault’ and Turned It into Prayer, Healing Came!🙏🏻

When I Accepted Everything as ‘My Fault’

and Turned It into Prayer, Healing Came

My name is John Kim, Ji-seong from Busan, South Korea.

 

After having been away from the Church for a long time, I received many graces through my pilgrimages to Our Lady of Naju. My faith was restored, and my life was transformed. I moved from neglecting my family to becoming devoted to them, learning how to truly love them.

Above all, I was liberated from a very serious addiction: severe alcoholism. Whenever I started drinking, I would lose contact with everyone, drink all night, and fail to return home or even go to work. Today, I have been completely freed from this addiction, and I no longer have any desire for alcohol at all.

Many people suffer from addictions such as alcohol, gambling, gaming, and drugs. I truly believe that if they come to Our Lady of Naju, pray, take a shower with the Miraculous Water, and entrust themselves completely, the Blessed Mother’s words—“I will help you with my power to crush the serpent”—will be fulfilled just as promised, and they too will be freed from addiction.

At one point, I began to notice problems related to alcohol in my younger child as well. At first, I reacted emotionally and became angry with the child. However, I soon came to realize the pain my own family must have suffered because of me. As an act of reparation for the wounds I had caused, I offered a Mass at the Naju Shrine with the intention that God would heal the wounds of my family.

I also tried to live out the Five Spiritualities, especially accepting everything as “My fault” and turning it into prayer. Whenever possible, I asked my child for forgiveness. My child forgave me, reconciliation took place, and as a result, my child has not drunk alcohol for over a year now. The child, who once struggled even with group life, is now living a healthy and responsible social life. Amen!

My eldest daughter also received a great grace. Since kindergarten, she always felt the urgent need to use the restroom whenever she rode in a car, to the point that she could never even join school field trips. Hospitals could not find any medical cause.

In April 2007, during a retreat in Busan with Mama Julia, she placed her hand on my daughter’s abdomen and prayed for her.

From that moment on, the symptoms completely disappeared. Even now, as an adult, my daughter rides in cars without any problem.

At the time, we did not immediately realize that this healing had taken place. Later, through my mother, I learned that as Mama Julia passed by us that day, she said to a volunteer, “Why do I feel like I need to go to the restroom so often today? I just went, but I feel like I need to go again.”

It was then that I came to understand that while we were in the same space, Mama Julia was taking on redemptive suffering, and through that suffering, healing was granted to my child.

Toward the end of May 2021, our eldest child began to suffer such severe psychological pain that daily life became impossible, and hospitalization was required. My heart felt as though it had sunk to the ground. The child’s condition was extremely serious, involving bipolar disorder, panic symptoms, insomnia, and even an inability to have bowel movements or eat due to psychological distress.

What was even more serious was a condition called non-suicidal self-injury—a disorder in which a person intentionally harms their own body without the intention of ending their life.

Because the impulses were so strong, admission to a closed ward was recommended. However, my child wished to remain in an open ward, so I stayed in the hospital as a constant caregiver and remained there together.

While devoting ourselves to treatment and prayer, I came to realize that my child’s psychological suffering had been greatly affected by the wounds and anxiety caused by my past behavior—my heavy drinking and frequent shouting. The illness had grown from those wounds. Recognizing clearly that this was my responsibility, I said to my child:

“As a father, I failed to give you the love you needed. I was not faithful to my family, and I caused you anxiety that led you to suffer things you never should have had to endure. I am truly sorry.”

My child then said to me: “Dad, my illness is not your fault, so please don’t blame yourself so much.” With those words, my child forgave me.

For my child’s spiritual and physical healing, I offered prayers through Mama Julia, and people around us also offered Mass intentions at the Naju Shrine for my child.

I continued to turn my life into prayer for my child, and especially when my child was sleeping, I would gently place a scarf with special phenomena given to Mama Julia around the head and pray:

“Please purify my child’s thoughts. May all impulses, anxiety, and every negative thought completely disappear.”

Whenever my child did coloring therapy during treatment, I prayed, asking that my child’s mind be filled with rainbow-colored light. I firmly believed that the Blessed Mother was listening and watching, and that she would bring everything before God. I was certain that my child would be healed.

At that time, due to the pandemic, we were participating in prayer meetings through YouTube.

During the announcements, I heard that Mama Julia was offering up extreme mental suffering—severe anxiety, depression, bipolar symptoms, a feeling of mental emptiness, and intense psychological pain that feels like imminent death.

At that moment, I immediately realized that Mama Julia was offering redemptive suffering for my eldest child.

Afterward, each time Mama Julia offered mental suffering during prayer meetings, my child gradually became able to eat food again, and normal bowel movements resumed. In this way, the body’s basic functions were restored first. Sleep time increased, emotional stability returned, and after about two months, the impulses that had once filled my child’s mind so painfully had almost completely disappeared. Amen! 🙌🙌🙌

At the time of hospitalization, my child was completely unable to function in daily life, so my prayer was simply, “Please let my child be able to live daily life with medication.” However, a few months later, I received a message from her : 

“I am fine now without going to the hospital or taking any medication. I have no impulses at all, and I can live my daily life without any difficulty.”

The extreme mental anguish and psychological suffering that had made daily life impossible—along with the many physical difficulties that resulted from it—were completely healed by the grace of the Lord and the Blessed Mother, through Mama Julia’s redemptive suffering. Today, my daughter is striving diligently toward the dreams she desires.

As for myself, about two and a half years ago, I received healing from symptoms of heart failure in Naju. Even short walks left me breathless, walking itself was difficult, and I often woke up at night feeling as though I could not breathe. Since receiving this healing, my condition has not worsened, and I have been living my daily life well and without difficulty up to this day. 

During a First Saturday Prayer Meeting in Naju, my shoes once went missing. Because I had left them there, I offered the situation as “My fault” and accepted it with an “Amen.” When the prayer meeting ended and I was about to go home, the shoes were right beside my seat. Through experiences like this, I came to realize once again that when we offer up everything through the Five Spiritualities, the Lord grants the best possible outcome. Amen!

I firmly believe that if we continue to walk the path desired by the Lord and the Blessed Mother and do the work They ask of us, They will grant us even greater health and provide all that we need.

I offer praise and glory to Jesus of Mercy in Glory and Our Lady of Naju, who have protected me and my family, delivered us from suffering, and led us to salvation. I also wish to express my deepest gratitude to Mama Julia, who has offered her entire being in redemptive suffering for our spiritual and physical healing. Thank you.

January 3, 2026 

John Kim, Ji-seong from Busan, South Korea