[The Five Spiritualities Testimony] 💫What I had once felt “I suffer so much because of my son” turned into repentance! ✨

What I had once felt “I suffer so much because of my son”

turned into repentance!!!

My name is Monica Lee Mi-soon from Gwangju Archdiocese, South Korea.
I have been going on pilgrimages to Naju for 25 years.

Back in 1998, when the Gwangju Archdiocese released a negative declaration about Our Lady of Naju, it actually led me to learn more deeply about Her.

At that time, my greatest cross was my eldest son’s developmental disability. He showed signs of autism—he had a language disorder, no social skills at all, and could not distinguish between water and fire, danger and safety. He could not control his bowel movements, and could not sleep properly at night. Everything was in complete disorder.

I could not accept my son’s condition, and it caused me immense suffering. I did not know how to live or what the future would look like. My heart felt as if it were living in hell every single day.

Then I came to know about the Blessed Mother of Naju and read the book on Mama Julia’s life. There was a part where Mama Julia gently washed Francesco, a homeless man, with the same love and devotion as she would for Jesus, looking at him with eyes full of tenderness. I read that passage again and again—and through it, I experienced deep repentance.

I realized, “Mama Julia shows such love and devotion to others—what about me? Even my own child, whom I bore, I have struggled with, thinking, ‘Because of you, I suffer, I can’t sleep, not a single day is peaceful, truly there is no greater enemy!’ Haven’t I always felt this way? Alright, I will try to follow Mama Julia’s example!”—and I made that firm resolution.

From that moment, I began to accept my son—messy, unruly, impulsive, vanishing in the blink of an eye—as Jesus visiting our home in this very form. No matter what behavior or sudden outburst occurred, I thought, “Yes, Jesus is doing this…” and my heart found peace. I began offering it up for the repentance of sinners, and even when his challenging behaviors happened, I tried my best to carry the cross.

During the time when Jesus was pouring out thousands of drops of His Precious Blood along the Way of the Cross, I learned that Mama Julia, drenched in blood and sweat, would change her pajamas eight or nine times in the evenings and could not sleep. Though I am insufficient, I united my own offering—my son’s suffering from being unable to control his bladder—with Mama Julia’s suffering, offering it for the repentance of sinners.

Although the doctor had said, ‘His nervous system isn’t functioning properly, so he will have to live like this for his entire life,’ my son was able to control his bladder when he turned 15. The child who had always been restless, distracted, and avoided eye contact began to meet my gaze, his behavior became calmer.

Though he had not slept well at night, after regularly making pilgrimages to Naju Shrine, he began sleeping properly. Our Lady gradually and steadily healed him.

Thanks to Mama Julia’s suffering, I received grace. What I had once felt—“I suffer so much because of my son”—turned into repentance: “How much must my child have suffered because of me?” I repented and wept and wept, crying so intensely.

At that time, I deeply realized how cruel and wicked a sinner I truly was, through Mama Julia’s suffering. My child was gradually healed when his mother repented. Since we kept the Holy Image of Jesus of Mercy in Glory at the center of our home, our son—who previously could not express himself due to his speech difficulties and could only cry—began to speak.

When he could express what he wanted in words, how could I not respond with love and care? I am so thankful and so happy these days.

Have you ever heard of a child speaking after 33 years, not 3? After we enthrone the Holy Image of Jesus of Mercy in Glory, he finally began to speak. Thanks to my son Pio, Before I cried a lot because of Pio, but now thanks to him, my husband and I laugh and live joyfully. It feels like we have regained our lost child through the graces of Our Lady of Naju. I am truly grateful.

The second grace I want to briefly share is how the Naju pilgrims’ families were also healed. I have three sons. Under the eldest one, Pio, we also have a set of twins (sons).
Even though my love was always insufficient, I was so grateful that they grew up to be good children. Because our financial situation was not good, I never sent them to any extra academies that others attended. So I continually offered our children in prayer to Our Lady of Naju, and also asked prayers to Mama Julia. Amazingly, they excelled in their studies, became scholarship students, and received scholarships as well.

Through this, I truly realized and felt that Our Lady of Naju watches over and cares even for the families of pilgrims.

Following Our Lady’s message that there is no glory without the cross, I continue to turn my daily lives prayers and practice the Five Spiritualities, striving to live according to Mama Julia’s guidance. Thank you, Lord and Our Lady. Thank you, Mama Julia. All glory to the Lord. Thank you.

— November 4, 2023, Monica Lee Mi-soon from Gwangju, South Korea