[The Five Spiritualities Testimony] ✨"The Secret That Saved My Family from Divorce: The Five Spiritualities of Naju." - Testimony by Stella Marie

Praise be to Jesus! Praise be to the Blessed Mother!

I'm Stella Marie.

Before our family made a pilgrimage to Naju, we were on the verge of divorce. But now, I serve my husband and children with the spirituality of Semchigo and My Fault, just as Mama Julia lived out and taught us. Now, Instead of insisting on my own way, I try to respect the thoughts and opinions of my family first. As I began to deny my ego little by little, even the atmosphere in our home started to change. 

Our family life, which was nearly broken apart, was protected through Naju. 

My husband used to help me with housework whenever he could. But one day, my mother-in-law came to our home and took him to the other room, and from that night on, my husband began sleeping there with her.

I thought ‘Maybe Mother just wanted to sleep with her son tonight.’ But after she left the next day, my husband completely stopped helping with the children and the housework. He also began managing all of our finances by himself and gave me only the minimum amount for living expenses. Because it wasn’t enough to support the family, I had to send the children to daycare and start working. Then suddenly, he even asked to sleep in separate rooms.

From then on, I had to handle everything on my own—not only the children and the housework, but work outside the home as well. It became so overwhelming that I often cried.

I tried to escape the long tunnel of suffering by dedicating myself to my faith, but my husband still did not change. 

Instead, he spent his time playing golf, drinking almost every day, and talking to other women on the phone, coming home in the early morning hours. We missed opportunities for financial stability, and I was overwhelmed—raising the children, doing all the housework, and working outside the home. My husband always kept his distance from me and treated me coldly. Little by little, my self-esteem disappeared, and my heart became filled with anger and resentment. During that time, I began to suffer from heart problems.

While I was working, I suddenly felt a sharp, stabbing pain near my breastbone, as if I were being pierced by a needle, and I collapsed. I couldn’t breathe. 

A coworker wanted to call an ambulance. After that first unexpected attack, similar episodes began to occur regularly. 

I eventually went to the hospital and had an ECG, an ultrasound, X-rays, and other tests. But the doctors could not find a clear diagnosis. I felt that it might have been something like a sickness caused by long-term emotional pain and stress, affecting even the heart.

After I came to know Our Lady of Naju and began going on pilgrimages, there was a moment when Mama Julia breathed over us, saying, ‘Your hearts are being healed now!’ I responded, ‘Amen!’ and opened my chest and mouth wide, believing that the breath, filled with Our Lady’s maternal love, was reaching every corner of my heart. With sincere faith, I concentrated deeply each time she breathed over us, trusting that the Blessed Mother was healing me with her motherly love.

Sometime later, I suddenly realized that the stabbing pain—which used to come regularly—had not returned. I thought, ‘Why is my heart completely calm now?’ And from that moment on, I felt that my heart had been healed of heart disease! Even now, I have not experienced those symptoms again.

In truth, my heart wanted to separate from my husband because we did not get along at all. I thought it would be better for each of us to live our own lives. But after reading about the Five Spiritualities that Mama Julia teaches and has lived out, I realized that for the salvation of our souls, I needed to continue living with my husband and try my best. I decided, ‘No matter how difficult it is, I will offer up this suffering and continue on.’

Among the Five Spiritualities, I could understand the others, but the spirituality of ‘My fault’ was very hard for me to meditate on. I thought, ‘How could this possibly be my fault? Because I married the wrong man, my life became like this.’ 

I blamed my husband. I even resented my mother-in-law. 

While praying and meditating in front of the Holy Image of Jesus of Mercy in Glory, something surprising happened— I received a sudden realization. I understood that I had not given love to my husband first. I had not even given him a joyful smile. Instead, I constantly blamed him, saying that because of him we lost all opportunities to earn money.

Whenever we argued, I would say, ‘It’s always your fault!’ and my husband would fight back, ‘How is it my fault? It’s your fault!’ We accused each other endlessly.

But in front of the Holy Image of Jesus of Mercy in Glory, I was made to clearly see myself—how I had not been able to forgive first. Through that realization, I came to understand that, in many ways, it really was my fault too.

So, even though it felt awkward, I did what Mama Julia taught us—I made a deep bow to my husband.

He was surprised and said, ‘Why are you doing something you’ve never done before?’ but I felt as though it was an assignment I had to fulfill. Even though it wasn’t easy and didn’t match my own will, I tried to be considerate and adjust myself. Little by little, my husband began to respect my opinions and listen to what I say.

Then I reflected before the Lord: ‘If I had divorced him and met another man, would I really have been happy?’ And instead of resentment, I began to feel grateful that this husband—despite all my faults—has remained with me until today. The One who changed my heart in a single moment is truly Jesus of Mercy in Glory.

In addition, I used to have nightmares—being chased, feeling my throat being strangled, falling, or sinking into deep water. But when I slept wearing the large scapular of Jesus of Mercy in Glory, my heart felt calm, and those dreams no longer came. I consider this another remarkable grace.

Mama Julia, I am endlessly grateful that you have guided a sinner like me to live a life of heaven on this earth. In this age, we are not called to martyrdom by shedding blood, but by following the lives of the martyrs and Mama Julia’s example, we can live the ‘martyrdom of everyday life.’

I used to feel oppressed by my husband and by my circumstances, and I did not know how to respond. But now I understand: this is self-denial; this is dying to myself and serving others; this is the martyrdom of daily life. So, I will offer heroic loyalty to Jesus through the martyrdom of everyday living through the Five Spiritualities! 

September 7, 2024 —Stella Marie, South Korea