[The Five Spiritualities Testimony] 😁As someone who had always blamed others, I came to realize that everything was my fault and that I was a sinner. 💞

"As someone who had always blamed others,

I came to realize that everything was my fault and that I was a sinner."

My name is Dominica Lee from Dae-jeon, South Korea. 

Before my pilgrimage to Naju, I was very active in my parish—so much so that there was hardly anyone who did not know me. I prayed the Rosary faithfully and spent much time in Eucharistic Adoration.

I served as a catechist, a Legion of Mary member, a member of the liturgy committee, and the choir. I also participated without fail in various retreats and volunteer training programs offered by the diocese. I was involved in so many parish groups and volunteer activities that I truly had no more time left to give.

At that time, I had two young sons in elementary school. As they grew, the cost of education and daily living steadily increased, while the income from our family business continued to decline. My husband’s work was not going well, and he even became a victim of fraud. Eventually, I had no choice but to begin working outside the home, leaving my two young sons behind. Because it was my first time working, it was extremely difficult. I also still had to care for my children. Although I worked very hard, our family’s financial situation did not improve at all and only continued to worsen.

Gradually, I began to complain and resent God, thinking, “I have devoted myself not only to attending church faithfully but also to serving tirelessly—so why does God not provide what I need and only allow me to suffer?” As a result, I fell into depression, which gradually became severe.

When depression sets in, it is usually accompanied by social anxiety, anxiety disorders, and insomnia—they often come as a package. As my emotional illness worsened, physical illnesses followed. I suffered from severe indigestion and could barely eat. Because of insomnia, I could not sleep properly, and this led to extreme hair loss. Although my condition has greatly improved now, at that time I had lost so much hair in the front that I nearly became bald. The hair loss was so severe that I had to wear a wig.

I also struggled greatly at work and could not adapt well. I was even ostracized and came close to being forced out. I began to think, “If this is how I must live, abandoned by God, it would be better to die.” Day after day, I lived a life where I felt I was merely surviving because I could not die.

Then one day, by chance, I came across the website Mary’s Ark of Salvation while browsing the internet. Gathering my courage, I attended the First Saturday Prayer Meeting in September 2007. The moment I entered the Naju Shrine, I was surrounded by the fragrance of flowers.

The scent did not come from just one place—it followed me wherever I went. I found this very mysterious. As the prayer meeting continued, my heart, which had been dark, suffocating, and unbearably heavy, gradually became peaceful and was filled with overflowing joy. It was a profound peace I had never experienced, even during my years of attending church.

During the prayer meeting, I saw Mama Julia for the first time. I felt that she was truly beautiful, and as I listened to her words, they struck my soul deeply. It felt as though my soul had awakened. I thought to myself, “If only I had lived by practicing the Five Spiritualities as she taught, how much merit I would have gained. Why have I lived my life filled only with complaints and dissatisfaction?” I was led into deep repentance.

During Mass, when I received Holy Communion, a strong fragrance of roses came from the Eucharist. This was a sign that the Blessed Mother was present together with Jesus in the Eucharist.

At the time for meeting Mama Julia, I thought it would simply be a brief handshake. However, I was deeply moved and amazed as I watched her embrace each pilgrim with great care, one by one, despite the large crowd. When she even kissed my face, I felt an immense, maternal love. I joyfully completed that pilgrimage, filled with peace, and resolved in my heart, “I will continue to come on pilgrimage every First Saturday!”

However, just two months later, in November 2007, a false broadcast aired on the PD Notebook program, and severe persecution began. As a result, I stopped going on pilgrimage and gradually forgot about it.

Then one day in 2012, I saw the image of Our Lady of Naju that I had framed at home, and she appeared to be looking at me while shedding tears. At that moment, the message of Our Lady of Naju came strongly to my mind: “If you follow me… what you have lost in the world will turn into eternal joy by gaining me.” In that instant, I realized, “The Blessed Mother is calling me back to the Naju Shrine. Amen!” And I began my pilgrimage to Naju again.

From then on, no matter what anyone said about Our Lady of Naju, I did not lend my ear to criticism and attended the First Saturday prayer meeting in Naju without fail. Gradually, the darkness in my heart caused by depression began to lift. I came to realize that the cause of my suffering was my belief that I had done nothing wrong and that I thought I was better than everyone else.

As I read Mama Julia’s inspiring spiritual messages and her life story, I was deeply moved by her love—how she would give food to beggars even while fasting herself. I thought to myself, “This is truly a life lived according to the words of the Bible.” As someone who had always blamed others, I came to realize that everything was my fault and that I was a sinner. My heart overflowed with gratitude to the Lord and the Blessed Mother, and gradually my heart became brighter and lighter.

As a result, my depression disappeared, my insomnia was healed so that I could sleep well again, and even my severe hair loss completely stopped. I received total healing. I am truly grateful to the Lord and the Blessed Mother.🎉

Currently, the suicide rate in our country ranks first among OECD member nations, and it continues to rise. While there may be many causes—such as social isolation, relative deprivation, financial hardship, illness, and family problems—the decisive reason is the loss of hope: believing that there is no future and that life is no longer worth living. Had I not known Our Lady of Naju, I believe I too might have fallen into such dangerous thoughts.

For souls who are lost and wandering in darkness, captivated by the emptiness of worldly values and not knowing what to do, I believe that true life is practicing the Five Spiritualities of Naju, learned through the life of Mama Julia.

I also believe that many lukewarm Catholics would experience an awakening of their souls if they visited Our Lady of Naju. They would come to love Jesus and the Blessed Mother not only with their minds, but deeply with their hearts, and—like me—receive healing of both soul and body through repentance, returning to a fervent life of faith.

I give all glory to the Lord and the Blessed Mother, and I also express my heartfelt gratitude to Mama Julia. I love you. Thank you.

November 23, 2024 Dominica Lee