“Our Lady appeared to my son who was terminally ill."

Barnaba's Testimony

I write this testimony in thanksgiving for the graces and love that the Blessed Mother of Naju has bestowed upon us. I came to realize how sinful my life had been only when I found the love of the Blessed Mother of Naju. I was a seminarian who had big hopes to become a priest, but I gave up in the middle. Then, I began living a worldly life, believing in the power of money.

One day, my son, Leo, who in the second grade, was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. He was expected to live only two to three more months. I was totally shaken up. Money was not important any more. I had my son examined at six different hospitals, but the diagnosis was the same. His cancer was so widely spread that doctors would not even recommend surgery.

How can one describe how parents feel when there is nothing they can do to help their son who is dying? He was losing weight day after day. He weighed only 14 to 15 kilograms (31 to 33 pounds). He was so thin that it seemed as if he could be blown away by wind. He was not able to walk and had to be carried. Doctors would not even admit him to their hospitals. It meant that there was no hope.

A woman, who was passing by, gave me a booklet. She said, “Please read it.” it was about the Blessed Mother of Naju. There were photographs of the Blessed Mother shedding tears and tears of blood to convert numerous souls. She was crying like myself. In order to offer up Leo's soul and body to the Blessed Mother, my wife, my first son, and I went to Naju with Leo for the first time.

When we arrived at the Chapel, I felt an unusual sense of peace from the moment we stepped into the Chapel.The Blessed Mother's statue looked so merciful. She was welcoming us with the fragrance of roses and her love. From that night, I kept praying and crying. “Mother, if you would take this boy, that is fine with me. However, let me suffer the physical pains that he is suffering. Let him go to your bosom with a peaceful mind.”

On the third night, there were many people in the Blessed Mother's House (the Chapel). I carried him to an inn, because there were so many people in and around the Chapel. When I woke up at about 11:30 p.m., I found my son missing. He was not in the inn. It was raining heavily. I went to Naju Hospital three times and Naju Railroad Station three times, but could not find him there.

Several hours passed. While I was walking in the dark, I twisted my ankle, but could not pay attention to the pain because I was anxious to find my son. My anxiety was growing. Suddenly I thought that he might be in the Blessed Mother's House.

When I entered the Chapel, I saw my son talking before the altar. I could not believe that Leo was able to come to the Chapel, because he was not familiar with the streets in Naju. I ran to him and hugged him. I could not control my tears. “How did you come here??” “Daddy, I came here a while ago. You are late.”

I asked him again how he came here. He said, “I came with Mommy who had white wings (mantle).” “What??”

It was raining heavily outside, but he was not wet at all. I thought to myself, “This is a lie. He is just imagining.” I asked Maria Chang who was nearby, “Did you see anyone who brought him here?” She answered, “I did not see anybody, but I heard the boy saying ‘Mommy, Goodbye!’ ‘Mommy, Goodbye!’ before he stepped into the Chapel. At the moment he came into the Chapel, I smelled a strong fragrance of roses.” She thought that Leo came with his mother.

I thought that the boy was approaching his last moments; he might soon go to his Mother; I began praying the rosary before the Blessed Mother's statue. The boy began sleeping; I also fell asleep. When I opened my eyes, the sun was already high and the boy was missing again. I rushed outside and saw my son vomiting blood in front of the larger statue of the Blessed Mother.

I brought some water and washed my son before others could see his blood. Then, I tried to carry Leo on my back as usual to take a walk. But Leo said, “Why carry me? Am I a baby?” I said, “Why? I always carry you on my back!” But he only said, “Daddy, I want to eat a roasted chicken! Buy me one, will you?” I was surprised to see Leo eating a whole chicken! I could not believe my eyes.

Two years have passed since then. Leo is now in the fourth grade now and weighs 54 kilograms (119 pounds). He is taller than I and is healthy. A recent MRI scan at Seoul National University Hospital showed that all the cancer cells disappeared, but the tumor was still there.

Some people ask, “Why is he not healed completely at once?” But I am more grateful to the Blessed Mother for healing him gradually.* If healing is sudden, I may become proud again and may forget to rely totally on the Blessed Mother.* The Blessed Mother has called us from a sinful life through our son.

I don’t know how we can thank Julia who prays so ardently for my son during the overnight prayer meeting on First Saturdays. We only promise to wipe away the Mother's tears with our tears of repentance and to offer up sacrifices. Leo waits for the First Saturday prayer meetings anxiously. I, his father, feel ashamed.

I will live a consecrated life by repenting my sins and by loving others and praying for others. Glory to the Lord and praise to the Blessed Mother! 

Amen.