616. Resolved to Immediately Unpack the Bundle Prepared for Leaving the Convent

💌 616. Resolved to Immediately Unpack the Bundle Prepared for Leaving the Convent

Even as I began to speak, the nun’s face was still pale but it soon brightened, taking on a rosy hue. Eventually, she broke into tears and began to speak.

“About 40 years ago, as it was in the early days of the convent, we were only just a few people lived together. Back then, we did not even wear habits and had to do various jobs to make a living.

At that time, we farmed tobacco and other crops but I suffered from pesticide poisoning while spraying pesticides, which caused me great difficulties. Even the hospital’s doctors could not cure me. Since then, my body has been weak and I have lived in pain for long years due to the aftereffects. Managing the hospital kitchen with such a body has become so exhausting that I could not stand it anymore.

In fact, I packed my bags today, intending to leave the convent. But I thought, “Lastly, I should receive a prayer from sister Julia at least even once. Maybe then, even after leaving the convent and living outside, I will still be able to carry on my life. That is why I came to see you. But through you, the Lord has made me be born anew today. I will unpack the bundle that I packed to leave.

At the very last moment when I was about to leave, the merciful Lord arranged for me to meet you. This is the love of the Lord. I have been a nun for nearly 40 years and although the Lord has given me such a good share of love so far, I always thought, ‘Why am I only told to do this kind of work? How long do I have to cook rice and carry food to serve?’ When I thought that I was being ignored and given only trivial tasks I became resentful and could not bear it any longer.

But when I heard your words today, even you, a lay person, are living like this, yet I feel so ashamed of myself that I am at a loss, who claimed to have lived as a bride of the Lord; I have never been grateful and have lived my life full of complaints and dissatisfaction. Not only I, but many other nuns are living wrongly and only now do I truly feel ashamed.”

The nun choked up and continued to cry profusely.

I tightly held the nun’s hand warmly and said, “Sister, do not worry. The Lord has said, ‘When you open your hearts wide and return to Me, I will not ask about your past but will bestow the cup of blessings upon you.’ The Lord already knows your heart, which is ready to begin anew and will surely pour out His Cup of Blessings upon you. It is never too late, so let us, with Semchigo as if we were loved, offer up everything graciously and start anew together.”

Hearing this, the nun shed tears and said, “Yes, I will begin anew. Sister Julia, thank you so much. Thank you.” I replied, “Jesus, Who loves you so much, simply used me who is unworthy as His instrument, so give thanks only to Him.” We cried and laughed together.

We promised together to follow the Lord’s will and the nun resolved to offer herself up with joyful heart to whatever duty she is given regardless of the task. Pledging to fulfill her role as the Spouse of Jesus and as a religious sister she returned to her convent with a radiant face.

“O, my Lord! My Beloved! The suffering I receive is truly a suffering of hope, so how can I not confess that it is joyful suffering? You grant me both suffering and health as You see fit. How could I not be thankful for Your profound love, which cannot be measured by any scale in this world? I return all Your mercy and love solely to You. All glory be to You alone.”

“O, my beloved, my Little Soul! When the children specially called by me are unfaithful, they become sharp knives piercing deeply into my Sacred Heart. However, when they repent and rush to Me again, I am filled with boundless joy. All my thirst is quenched and my heart rejoices and is satisfied beyond description. I forgive their wrongdoings and will lead them to live a resurrected life.”

“Oh, my Love, my Beloved! I always desire to be sublimated only by pious sentiments in Your love. Come into my utterly trivial heart and make it a palace to serve my Beloved, Lord. Amen.”

It is said that on that day, the Sister was healed of all the wounds she had accumulated in her life, as well as the after-effects of 40 years of pesticide poisoning. Afterward, she was able to offer up everything entrusted to her through the Prayers of Life and live her religious life joyfully.

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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