💌 409. Even In the Face of Death, Wishing to Veil It from My Husband At Least.

The seven injections caused me so much excruciating pain to the extent of seeing stars in my eyes that I let out a scream in spite of myself, which made me utterly astonished, for even when I had delivered my children with much difficulty, I had never let out even a single scream despite the labor pains that felt like onto death but rather, I had offered it up with Semchigo as if I had received love, tightly biting my lip. Even at this moment, I offered up the immense pain from the injections for the sake of my family's health, practicing Semchigo as if the shots were not painful.

Then, I was so startled to see my mother and husband coming in that I urgently gestured for them not to enter. My voice did not come out well but I tried my best to make myself understood, "No, do not come in!" Then, my husband quickly left. However, my mother came in and ended up seeing my painful site. 

She was so shocked to see some substance filling my anus that she cried out. “Oh my, what is that? What is it that completely filling the anus? Is it not severe hemorrhoid? Would the hamorrhoids not be cured with surgery?" Without responding to her questions, however, the doctor said to me with an anxious voice, "Why did you not let your husband come in? Your disease was aggravated so significantly that I was going to show it to him. Even now, please let him come in and see what state you are in."

I shouted desperately, "I do not want to be seen in this hideous state. I would rather die than show it to my husband." I strongly stopped him from letting my husband come in. According to my firm resolution, I did not show my unpleasant appearance to my husband. Even in the face of death, I never wanted to show it to my husband.

I said to the doctor, "Doctor, please prescribe me medication to help me get better," My mother, once again, urgently spoke up, "Doctor, if it is hemorrhoid, can it not be treated with surgery? Why hesitate?" After a moment of hesitation, the doctor replied in frustration, "It is not hemorrhoids, and that is why I suggested going to a larger hospital for a biopsy."

Until then, I had not even dreamed that cancer had been living with me all this time. I thought it was hemorrhoid but when the doctor said it was not, I started considering that it might be severe inflammation or something in the anus. So, I pleaded once again. Months earlier, when he had first recommended biopsy to me, I had not fully understood that doctor recommended this biopsy when cancer is suspected.

I said, "Doctor, as you know, I have many children, so I can not afford surgery. Please just prescribe me medication to get better as soon as possible." In truth, it was because surgery would cost a lot of money and I could not think of having it because of my mother-in-law. However, since I could not disclose this fact to anyone, I expressed it using a secondary reason.

The doctor, with a look of pity on me, replied, "Ma'am, even if you take medication, it would not work." At that moment, my mother, who was greatly alarmed by my condition, earnestly pleaded with him. "Still, please prescribe something. She can not live under this condition. Can you not try anything at all, please?" My mother pleaded almost in tears.

Finally, the doctor sighed and said, "I will prescribe painkillers but do not expect too much. And even if it is difficult, please visit and consult a larger hospital." Then I managed to come back home, totally unaware of my having cancer. And I did my best to be cured, hoping that my health would improve if I take the medication diligently.

* Even in a critical state near death due to illness, the little soul intensely refrained from revealing her inner skin even to her husband. However, in 2016, the Lord wanted the little soul to reveal her hidden sufferings so that even wicked sinners could repent through the excruciating and severe sufferings experienced by her, due to rampant sins such as homosexuality, obscenity, and abortion that even threaten the order of nature established by God.(* Reference to the message on February 17, 2016.)

The little soul had thought that these hidden sufferings should be revealed only after her death but at the request of the Lord and the Blessed Mother, she obeyed willingly with Amen, "If even one more soul can repent, what more would there be that I would not lay down?" In 2016, following the Will of the Lord and the Blessed Mother, the little soul revealed the photos of the hidden pains that she suffered in reparation for the sins of homosexuality, abortion and obscenity which had never been disclosed until then since 1982.

Even as the little soul revealed the excruciating sufferings in which her stomach became swollen, which seemed about to burst, causing the small veins to burst, turned black and blue and her skin around her anus and buttocks was torn, peeled, frayed and lacerated, the little soul offered up this pain graciously as a hope-filled agony, praying earnestly for the repentance of sinners. This is the highly praiseworthy love of the little soul, who willingly offers her life for it, united with the sublime Love of the Lord and the Blessed Mother for the salvation of humanity.

For the little soul who hesitates to unveil her inner skin even to her husband in the face of death, this sacrifice might be more profound than martyrdom.