631.Reprimand for Helping a Terminally Ill Cancer Patient with Limited Mobility

💌 631. Reprimand for Helping a Terminally Ill Cancer Patient with Limited Mobility

It happened at a diocesan retreat in the mountains while I was working with the Charismatic Renewal Movement. There were many patients that day and I have always paid extra attention to such poor patients and the weak. The other volunteers often criticized me for this but I always offered it up with Semchigo as if I were loved. That day, an elderly brother, who had terminal rectal cancer and whose cancer had spread throughout his body, was lying alone in the back.

I thought, “Why did they leave him alone? Where is his family?” and decided that I would take care of him. He had no guardian and came here seeking healing, waiting for his final moments but he could barely walk, to the point where it was astonishing how he even managed to come. Moreover, the rotting stench caused by the cancer was so foul that everyone hurried to avoid him and no one dared to come close.

I also had terminal cancer and was about to die but the Lord saved me, so his suffering deeply pierced my heart. I decided to joyfully practice love, treating him with Semchigo as if he were Jesus. Because even the male volunteers turned away from him, saying he smelled and was dirty, the biggest problem was when he needed to go to the bathroom.

However, I took him to the restroom, offering it up with the Prayer of Life: “Lord, please heal this brother’s rectal cancer and cleanse all the ugly evil habits in the souls of the retreat participants,” Practicing Semchigo as if I were wiping a baby’s bottom, I helped clean him up and even cleaned his front where feces had soiled it. But some volunteers who had always disapproved of me began to reprimand me for helping him.

“Julia! You should be doing other kinds of service! Why are you so focused on just one patient and doing nothing else?” they said, casting disapproving glances at me. I took it with Semchigo as if they were saying, “Julia, you are doing a good job. Thank you for your efforts.” I offered it up as my own fault, realizing that my presence might have disturbed their minds and I bowed my head deeply to ask for forgiveness. “My sincere apologies. He is unable to move and I just wanted to take care of him.”

As soon as I finished speaking, one of them said, “Hmmm! , do as you wish!” and left coldly. I approached the patient and prayed earnestly, “Lord, please save this poor brother who has lost his family and love. I cannot do anything, so please personally come and operate by Your Holy Spirit. If this brother can be healed and saved, I will take on all of his suffering.”

While praying inwardly, I suddenly found myself crying uncontrollably. But unknowingly, the sound of my prayer escaped my lips and a volunteer overheard me and criticized me, saying, “How arrogantly are you praying like that? The suffering should naturally be borne by the Lord, so why do you, Julia, say you take on suffering?” For me, the blunt tone of the fellow volunteer, someone who should be working in unity and sharing love with other volunteers, was not the issue.

I was deeply shocked by the words, “The suffering should naturally be borne by the Lord.” In that moment, my heart felt as though something like a stone was solidifying in my chest, weighing heavily on it. Thinking about how much the Lord must be hurting, tears flowed from my eyes without me realizing it. However, no matter what, I knew I did wrong.

I should have prayed quietly without making a sound but seeing the brother in such intense pain, I prayed, holding him tightly and weeping as if crying out in agony. In doing so, the sound of my prayer escaped my lips without realizing it. I accepted it as my fault, offered it up with Semchigo as if I were loved and apologized to the volunteer, saying, “I was wrong. I will be more careful from now on.”

The cancer patient, who had witnessed everything, grabbed my hand tightly, not knowing what to do, and said, “I am sorry. I am sorry for making you do this,” while crying. I wept with him, praying earnestly that his suffering might be washed away by the tears.

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScMn-IyINZ8oGN8Jv4M0-pozcdF67tEqzlPkk4s0EZKdnOdEw/viewform