664. The Suffering of My Family Also Begins

💌 664. The Suffering of My Family Also Begins

After offering up my suffering during the Lent of 1982, Jesus began showing me the spiritual state of the souls of the people in the world and from then on, there was not a day without tears. Not only the countless volunteers who claimed to spread the Lord’s message but also the clergy and religious, were falling into sacrilege, disobedience and serious sins against chastity.

The Lord’s heart was torn apart into many pieces as He looked upon all of this and flames of fire blazed from His Sacred Heart. I cried out to Him in wail: “My beloved Lord! Since I offered up my suffering, saying, ‘How happy I, a sinful handmaid, will be if only my suffering can be a tiniest help to the Lord’s Work of Salvation!’ I will endlessly strive to fulfill the mission entrusted to me, not only yesterday, not only today, but also tomorrow and in the future.

My Lord, who is my everything! I know how painful it must be for You every time people sin. I understand well the suffering You endure and from all that You have shown me, it is enough. Please, no more. In place of all those who have wounded Your Heart, I willingly accept even greater suffering. Through the pain that this unworthy sinner offers up, may those who have hurt You repent and become Your consolers!” I fervently prayed.

The Lord heard my prayer and from that moment on, I began to experience not only inner, outer and social suffering but also  countless other forms of suffering. This suffering extended even to my beloved family. I had desired the suffering for myself but seeing my entire family suffer was deeply sorry and difficult for me.

I tried my best to offer up the pain of bloody tears in my heart, with Semchigo as if I were receiving the Lord’s immense love. But, from that time until now, I could not help but become a sinner to my family. Even my third child, who had been doing so well in her studies, saw her grades plummet after I offered up my suffering. My husband, who had been ahead of all his colleagues, also faced repeated setbacks in promotions, which caused him great difficulty.

And my mother, who had devoted her entire life to me, continued to endure hardships even after I got married, supporting my in-laws. Even after surviving terminal cancer, I was busy supporting my mother-in-law and running my beauty parlor, while my mother still took care of me, my household and everything at home. But seeing her witness my suffering, even after I had regained my health, made me feel deeply sorry, thinking about how heartbroken she must have been.

I know that everything is the will and love of the Lord, but seeing my family suffer felt like a pain that pierced my heart like a dagger. However, I prayed with them, encouraging them to offer it up well. I was always so grateful and so sorry to my strong and supportive family who offered it up graciously. The unexpected pains that came so suddenly!

Even if the pain of death were to follow me, I could have gladly offered it up but because my entire family was suffering both internally and externally because of me, I could not bear it, feeling deeply sorry and helpless. However, we all offered up those heart-wrenching pains graciously, saying, “Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord; may His will be done.”

If, through the suffering that my family bears as a sacrifice because of me, sinners can repent and through this, if the Lord can be consoled, how could I not offer up such suffering? I cried out to the Lord with true gratitude.

“Oh! My Jesus, who is still hanging on the Cross today, shedding Your blood for the repentance of our sins! How much must You have loved this unworthy and poor sinner to undergo such terrible pain? And how much must You love my family to allow us to experience Your immense love and now permit us to suffer as well?

How intense must the Lord’s suffering have been and how great must the sacrifice be needed in this age that You ask even my children to make sacrifices? Oh, my Lord, my love! I completely entrust my family to Your Will.” At that moment, Jesus responded in a gentle voice.

“My Little Soul, who is willing to give your life to save even one more soul! Who can assert that anyone can be saved without passing through the Cross? The wills of so many souls in this world are indifferent to My Will, so no matter how much I try to convey the sweetness of My love to them, how could they possibly accept it?

I am consoled by the great love you pour into the cup of sacrifice and atonement through suffering. As you offer up those pains more graciously, come into My heart, so that you may reach a higher realm towards perfection.”

* Later, after the Blessed Mother appeared in Naju, shedding tears, the Little Soul once said to Jesus: “Jesus, if I had wanted to serve You and the Blessed Mother, would it not have been better if I had never married? Then I would have suffered alone. But the suffering my beloved family members are enduring... It feels like my chest, my heart indeed, is being torn apart.”

At this, Jesus spoke with a voice full of great sorrow but also tenderness:

“My beloved baby, because you have experienced these things, do you not understand the heart of married people? How could someone who has not given birth bear the pains in reparation for abortion on behalf of others, as you have? And your heart, seeing the pain of your children—does it not resemble the heart of My mother, who, even as I was nailed to the cross and dying, could do nothing to help? Would you not, too, strive even harder for the salvation of all humanity after experiencing that same pain?”

The Little Soul, in response to Jesus’ words, said, “Oh, my beloved Jesus! Please forgive this sinner who has not been able to offer up even more graciously, even for a moment. I am infinitely grateful to You for giving me this suffering, allowing me to share in the Hearts of You and the Blessed Mother. Even this pain, which causes me to shed tears of blood in secret, I will offer up more graciously, immersing myself deeper into the Hearts of You and the Blessed Mother and I will offer my heroic loyalty to do so. Amen!”

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

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