💌 480. Even Though I Paid off His Many Private Loans, He Was Busy Hiding.

Despite being in a needy circumstances, I even sold our food grains to help him and now I had to worry about Valentino’s debt as well. All this time, it had been incredibly difficult paying off the debts of this person and that person, but what else could I have done? Thinking that such a thing happened because God loved me so much, I offered it up, thinking it was my fault to have lent him the money.

I hurried to the Credit Union to check how much interest had been overdue and the next day, I came up with the money and paid off all the overdue interest. As I thought of the executive director who always trusted me and helped me, I felt extremely sorry. So I bowed my head and apologized to him. From then on, I had to pay off Valentino's principal and interest every month on his behalf. It was like adding insult to injury; I had been facing more difficulty because of Valentino.

However, I thought, “How difficult it must have been for him that he behaves like that,” I practiced Semchigo as if Valentino had taken care of his debt well and I went to the Credit Union each month to pay off the money. Every time I went to the Credit Union to repay the money, I prayed to God that He would rid his soul and body of as many bad habits as the amount of that money. And Valentino, who had promised to take responsibility for getting the windows of my parlor tinted, had never done it.

He was not seen even at the church and nothing around heard about him since then. I had never expected him to get the windows tinted but because he had made the promise, I willingly offered it up with Semchigo as if he had done it for me. And I had never visited his shop, not even once, to recoup money from him, nor did I ever consider doing so. Understanding how difficult it must have been for him, I simply prayed and prayed for him.

Then, several years later, one Sunday, I attended the 8:30 a.m. Mass, although I usually attended the 10 a.m. Sunday High Mass at the church. However, a young man who was walking ahead of me walked fast and quickly hid behind someone else, avoiding me. I wondered, “For what mistake is he hiding like that?” Then I saw him. It was Valentino. After borrowing money, he had never showed up to me, let alone paying interest at the Credit Union.

However, as I watched him hide himself like a sinner upon seeing me, I thought, “Oh, what I did was to do a good deed but I should not let him become a sinner because of me.” I understood why he avoided me. He was too ashamed to face me because he could not pay me back, despite my repaying many of his debts even in my difficult situation.

However, all he needed to do was ask for forgiveness for not repaying the money, yet he hid his sin and went to church, boldly receiving the Holy Communion… If I did not free him, who continued to commit a grave sin without realizing it, it was evident that he would undergo long-term cleansing in purgatory. Moreover, he was even engaging in sacrilegious communion, so how great will the penance be that he must do!

Thinking of his situation, I could not bear to leave him like that. I quickly went to find him and said, "Dear Valentino, you do not have to hide. It is okay. You must have gone through a lot so far. Do not worry. The Lord has already paid off all that money through me. The Lord, Who loves me, had me offer more sacrifices through you, Valentino, so I would gratefully write off all your debt in the name of the Lord. Let us make a new start now.

So, from now on, do not try to attend the Mass, where I usually do not go to, to avoid me. Make a confession and attend whatever Mass freely. Did you get it?” I patted him on the back, practicing Semchigo as if he were truly asking the Lord and me for forgiveness. But even though he was in tears and was at a loss for what to do, he did not ask me for forgiveness.

It may have seemed to others that I was making a lot of money and spending it as much as I wanted because I had a lot of customers, but in reality, I had been struggling tremendously in various ways because of money. In that situation, Valentino's involvement made my financial situation even more challenging but I hoped for his sincere repentance and salvation. At that time, I acquired the parlor for 3.72 million Won but soon afterward, I had to repay 2 million Won, including interest on his behalf. To someone who had few, how much that money must have meant!

So, I really wanted him to go to Confession definitely but he went into the church, sat down right away, attended Mass and received Holy Communion without Confession. Indeed, it was sacrilegious Communion. I was so heartbroken to see him acting like that despite all I had done for him.

Thinking of the Heart of Jesus Who sees His children persisting in sin despite knowing themselves that they are committing sin, I offered up my painful heart for Valentino’s true repentance with Semchigo as if I were loved. And I thought that he must have been too burdened by guilt to even dare ask for forgiveness. I offered it up once again for his sake with Semchigo as if I received love.

“O Lord, may he seek forgiveness from You and may he stop from receiving the Holy Eucharist sacrilegiously. Please personally guide him to repentance and enlighten Valentino's path ahead.”

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👉🏻

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScMn-IyINZ8oGN8Jv4M0-pozcdF67tEqzlPkk4s0EZKdnOdEw/viewform?usp=sf_link