💌 479. Despite being in a difficult situation myself, I still offered my help, but...

While I was styling a customer's hair at the parlor, a young man named Valentino, who was a parishioner at the church, walked in. Several young men from the church used to address me as “Sis” or “Older sister” at that time. After I finished doing the hair of the customers who had arrived earlier than him, I asked him, “Would you like to get your hair done?” However, he was just hesitating. I pondered, “Might he want to get his hair done but he does not have money?”

“Dear Valentino, if you want your hair done, take a seat. I will do it for free.” Then, he replied, “Well, no…” He seemed unable to say anything more, hesitating with a dark facial expression. “Valentino, do you have something to tell me? If there is something you want to say, go ahead.” Finally, he spoke as if he had made up his mind. “Older sister, I need money.”

“You need money?” “Yes.” “How much?” “Quite a bit.” Though I really wanted to help him, I was also in a difficult situation myself. “I am sorry. I do not have much money right now either. I took out loans to run the parlor. So, I have to keep paying back the principal and interest which leaves me unable to lend out much. What to do?” With a disappointed expression, he replied with tears in his eyes.

“In fact, I have borrowed money from a loan shark. I do not have money, so I am at a loss with no means to repay. Please, help me just a little.” I felt so awkward. “What should I do? I am already struggling so much myself…” At that time, the parlor was thriving, and I was making good money, but, still, there were many times when I would starve. It was not only because I was busy but also to save every penny I could.

As I was busy at the parlor from morning till night, others might have thought I was making good money and therefore wealthy. However, in reality, I did not have money, so I could not even give proper allowances to my children. I was not just repaying loans and debts that my mother-in-law had borrowed and financially guaranteed for other’s debts from here and there; she also kept taking money from me frequently.

On top of that, there were many other debts to deal with. I was continuously paying off the principal and interest on the loan that I took from the Credit Union to open the parlor and I was also repaying the money that I borrowed from my eldest aunt, including both the principal and interest. Additionally, I also had to repay the 1 million won debt of my maternal younger cousin, Gil-young, in dollar currency. And then there were the living expenses for my family of seven and the hairstylists, as well as the monthly salaries for them...

In handling all of these, the money earned at the salon was only passing through my hands temporarily. Given this situation, I simply did not have the means to help him. However, despite my explanation of the difficult circumstances, he did not leave. Instead, he just sat there in the salon, not leaving, continuously shedding tears with a long face.

The customers might have felt uncomfortable to see him but beyond that, I had so much pity on him when I thought about his struggles with debt. I was really struggling too but when I reflected on the times when I had no money, Valentino seemed so pitiful. I recalled the moments when I could not even afford to go to the hospital, could not properly feed my children, had to give everything to my mother-in-law, gave everything to beggars and even went hungry myself.

I had offered up everything with Semchigo as if I had eaten and as if I had received love by the Lord’s guidance. Yet I could not help but feel pity for him, imagining the difficult times this young man was going through to end up sitting here with such a troubled face in front of me. At that time, our family brought the harvested rice plants from my mother’s farm in the countryside and husked them to produce rice. First of all, I sold the rice plants to come up with money and I also took out a loan of 2 million won through the assistance of the executive director at the Credit Union to help this young guy.

He was so happy that his face was radiant with joy and seeing him delighted made me feel satisfied and pleased too. As for the money earned from selling the rice plants, I decided not to retrieve it from him. I only said to him, “Valentino, you only need to pay back the principal and interest to the Credit Union every month.” Hearing this, he bowed down his head and said, “My big older sister, thank you. I will never forget this kindness”

“Now, let us practice the faith devotedly and live really diligently.” “Yes, my big sister! From now on, I will take responsibility for your salon's tinting going forward.” He was running a signboard shop in Naju and since his shop also offered tinting services, he made the promise to tint my salon. “Do not worry about that. Just live an upright life in the Lord and the Blessed Mother. Got it?” “Yes, my big sister, I will keep that in mind.”

However, a few months later, I received a call from the executive director at the Credit Union. “Ma’am, I am sorry, but that person you vouched for, Mr. 00, has never paid any interest, not even once until now. What should we do?” “Oh my, really? I am sorry, executive director. I will go to the Credit Union.” Not long after my cousin Gil-young's incident occurred, another similar issue arose... I felt helpless.

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👉🏻

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