💌 478. The Catholic Church You Attend Is Okay

Every time the landlady's family called their dog “Jesus! Jesus!” It made me feel so uncomfortable and heartbroken because it always felt like insulting Jesus. They were doing so, not because they did not know Jesus at all but because one or two people failed to set a good example and committed evil deeds while claiming to believe in Jesus or ran a business by selling the name of Jesus to satisfy their greed.

It was very heartbreaking to think that many people who had seen the wrong deeds of such believers had a misguided perception of Jesus, having difficulty getting closer to God. As I did not know what to do, I prayed, "I cannot attend Church without the landlady's family knowing. What should I do? Jesus, You know everything in my heart. Please kindly open the way."

Then, one day, the elderly landlady who worked in a market seemed to be on her day off; she was working alone in the vegetable garden. I felt like it was a chance to talk to her, so I stood by her side, helped her with her work, and said, "Um…" And I started talking to her. But I could not get my words out easily. As I could not continue speaking while trying to figure out her feelings, she looked at me blankly and asked, "What is on your mind? Speak it comfortably."

I believed, "It is the time," and I prayed, "Lord, please be with me." I uneasily got the words out. "Um, Mrs., I did something wrong and I want to ask for your forgiveness." "Oh my, how could one like you have done something wrong? If everyone in the world were like you, we could live without laws." "No, I am so inadequate.”

"No, I am always telling my daughter-in-law to imitate you." "Then, ... you would not cast me out even if I have done something wrong?" "Of course not, there is no reason for me to kick out a good and kind person like you. What is the matter?" Hearing this, I felt a little relieved and said, "As a matter of fact, I am attending the Catholic church. I am sorry that I did not tell you frankly when you dislike Church so much..."

"Oh, no. The Catholic church you are going to is okay; it is okay. Everyone knows you are kind and good, so attend it comfortably. I trust you. Of course, I trust you." She smiled brightly. I felt like something blocking my throat until then was going down. I was so happy that I repeatedly expressed my gratitude, holding her hands. I felt like I was about to fly as a heavy burden had been lifted off my heart.

How nervous I had been while going to Church all this time! Ever since I was young, I was the one who never told a lie, to the point where people called me “a child who cannot lie” or “a kid who is very uptight, even in cases where a little white lie would be necessary.” However, as this matter was resolved, painful memories resurfaced, memories of bitter situations where I had no choice but to lie about numerous things to borrow money for my mother-in-law after getting married. (Julia couldn't tell the neighbors the real reason for borrowing money, which was her mother-in-law's demand. So, she had no choice but to lie, saying she needed the money for hospital expenses.) 

It would remain a pain for the rest of my life but I offered it up with Semchigo as if I were loved because I knew that everything was God's love for me.
For fear of being kicked out of the home I had rented with difficulty, I had attended Church, trying to hide it and not openly and frankly telling them, which made me feel uneasy and nervous. But I was so happy that I could now go to Church with peace of mind.

"Oh, my Love, my Lord! Thank You. You, the Lord who makes the impossible possible, changed the stubborn hearts of those who used to say they would never allow going to Church. You even resolved this matter for me. May the Lord receive praise and glory forever and ever!"

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👉🏻

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