💌 471. Guaranteeing It by Stamping My Seal

In 1980, not long after I started my beauty parlor, Gil-young, the second son of my second eldest maternal uncle, visited me. He had been running Peeres Cosmetics agency in our neighborhood. He was the younger brother of Jeom-yeong who had been the same age as me and who had tragically passed away some time earlier. He grew up receiving plenty of love from his father.

When I had chosen to die, he was the one who purchased cyanide for me. (Note: He did not know its purpose at the time) He was also my younger cousin whom I had found so adorable since he was a newborn that I had personally carried him on my back and raised him. Gil-young said to me urgently, "Sis, can you lend me 500,000 Won right now?" and I replied, "Dear, how can I come up with the money now, considering I have only recently started this beauty parlor with borrowed funds?"

Then, he replied, "Well then, sis, why not ask the executive director of the Credit Union, from whom you borrowed money, for an additional 500,000 Won? Okay? I am in a really urgent situation right now. I will definitely pay it back tomorrow." Hearing that he would pay back the money the next day and recalling the difficult times when I had no money, I said, "Really? Okay then, let us go see the executive director." I went to the Credit Union and spoke to the executive director.

"Sir, I will pay it back tomorrow. So, could you please lend me 500,000 won?" I asked the executive director. He easily replied, "Sure, I will. Then, could you bring a seal?" I told Gil-young to do just that. A little while later, he rushed to me and said, "Sis they can accept your seal only." Without hesitation, I willingly handed over my seal.

After receiving the money, he expressed gratitude and went away like an arrow. However, the next day, I had no news from Gil-young, who had promised to repay the borrowed money the following day. With an anxious heart, I called him and even visited his cosmetics agency but he was nowhere to be seen. It was not until late in the afternoon that he finally called me and said, "Sis, I am sorry. I will definitely pay you back tomorrow."

Until then, I had never broken a promise in my entire life. To keep the promise with the executive director of the Credit Union, I went around here and there, borrowing money while saying, "I will pay you back tomorrow." Borrowing as much as 500,000 Won during those financially challenging days was by no means an easy task. Not only had it been a short time since I started the beauty parlor, but I also did not have many acquaintances.

Disliking the act of people gossiping and criticizing others, I had few close relationships with people. This made borrowing money even more challenging for me. I visited numerous houses, borrowing small amounts like 50,000 Won, 30,000 Won, 5,000 Won, and so on. After painstakingly collecting these sums, I managed to repay the 500,000 Won to the Credit Union. I, who had never broken a promise, always believed Gil-Young's repeated assurance "I will definitely pay you back tomorrow," despite him never keeping his word.

As a consequence, I found myself going around daily to borrow money to repay the sum borrowed in my name, all the while unable to attend to the customers I was supposed to serve. As a result, perhaps due to excessive stress, I had some problem with my kidneys, which caused me difficulty. However, Gil-young, my younger cousin, whom I expected to repay the money promptly, only continued to repeat the same phrase every day: "I will pay you back tomorrow."

When it was about a month since this ordeal began, he suddenly burst into the salon with a pale face. In a frantic voice, exclaimed, "Sis, sis! Something terrible has happened. If I do not have 500,000 won right now, I will lose the Peeres cosmetics agency. So, sis, please go to borrow some money for me, even with ‘dollar interest’. I will repay the whole 1 million won at once tomorrow. (Note: "Dollar interest" refers to "money borrowed hastily at a high interest rate.”)

During that time, while dealing with the repayment of the money borrowed by him, I had a hard time going around various places to borrow money even without doing customers’ hair. However, when he came rushing into the salon with a pale face, explaining that something serious had happened and seeking help, I felt overwhelming pity for him. In that moment, I quickly forgot about my own difficult situation. At that time, I did not even understand what 'dollar money' meant.

Then, I ended up borrowing another 500,000 won with ‘dollar interest’ from one of my customers, the person who engaged in usury. Throughout my life, I had never asked for a favor, not even for a bowl of rice for the sake of myself and my children no matter how hungry we were. Even when my children went hungry, I had not requested any favor for help.

However, looking back on those times when I went around borrowing money for Gil-young, my younger cousin, it still makes me feel dizzy to contemplate how I had managed it all at that time. “If only he had asked me to lend money for some time, explaining his difficult situation instead of only saying ‘tomorrow, tomorrow’, I would have considered depositing money into a savings account and getting a loan...” Yet, after that incident, there was no more news from Gil-young, and his whereabouts remained dim.

When I visited his agency, I discovered that it, too, had been closed! The entire 1 million won borrowed by Gil-young had to be repaid by me. It took me incredibly long time to repay such a large amount of money in full. Also, there had been so many days when I had to go around many places to borrow money for my mother-in-law. However, appealing my difficulties and asking for help from someone else were, as always, never easy.

If it was related to my own business, I would have never done it like that(*asking for money from others). However, as I thought, 'How difficult must it have been for him to come to me, knowing I'm in such a difficult condition, and ask to borrow money? it made me feel pity and compassion for him. As I offered up the shamefulness and hardship(*in borrowing money) with Semchigo as if I had been loved, I was able to overcome it.

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👉🏻

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