698. Even Though She Nitpicked Every Little Thing, I Considered Her a Benefactor Who Was Leading Me with Humility!

💌 698. Even Though She Nitpicked Every Little Thing, I Considered Her a Benefactor Who Was Leading Me with Humility!

After the retreat of the Blue Army, Father Antonio took me and Mr. Rufino to a family-run Western-style restaurant in Gwangju that was well known, called “Baekgyeong Grill.” After finishing the consecration prayer for the family and their business, Father Antonio reached out to shake my hand. Then, as he released my hand, he suddenly raised his voice and said, “You will become a great—no, an excellent—volunteer. Do your best for the Lord and the Blessed Mother.” He then placed his hand on my head and offered another prayer for me.

My heart once again soared with joy as if it were flying to the heavens. After bidding farewell to Father Antonio, I was about to return to Naju when Rufino suddenly called out to me. “Julia, there is a family consecration prayer, and Father wants you to go with him. As soon as that prayer is finished, sister Veronica Kim asked me to come to her house to pray together. You should come along too, okay?”

I was willing to go to the place for the family consecration because Father Antonio wanted me to, but I felt some hesitation about going to sister Veronica’s house. That was because she disliked me very much. When I first attended the Charismatic Renewal Seminar as a catechumen, she was the leader of the team I was assigned to. I wanted to give her everything I had, if I could, because she was serving to spread the Lord’s words.

Since she was the team leader and had to do a lot of writing, I thought to myself, “I do not have much money to give, but I can at least offer her a pen.” So I spoke to my husband and took a pen from his pocket to give her as a gift. It probably was not a very welcome gift, but I offered it up with Semchigo she had received it joyfully. Then, she looked to me like the Blessed Mother or an angel.

After I began serving in the charismatic movement, I came to deeply respect and follow that sister, and she became very fond of me as well. She was the first person I ever called “sister” apart from my biological sisters. Through the charismatic movement, I followed and loved her dearly. She was the first person I came to love in the Lord after coming to know God’s love.

However, not long after I began working as a charismatic movement volunteer, many people started praising me and growing fond of me. Then, that sister’s behavior began to change little by little. She started nitpicking everything I did, showing displeasure, and eventually came to hate me deeply. Since the beauty parlor was closed on the first day of every month, I used to go to Yangdong Market in Gwangju. On that day, the market put out many clothes that had not been sold and sold them for just 1,000 Won each.

Among them, there were many good clothes if you knew how to choose. Clothes that made the waist look slimmer were often left as excess stock because they did not fit many people. At that time, my waist was 23 inches, and I was very slim, so anything I picked fit me perfectly. While others could not wear those clothes because they did not fit, I was able to buy them cheaply and wear them. Since I could choose any good clothes for just 1,000 Won, was that not also God’s mercy and love?

Even though I bought clothes at a cheap price, that sister would say, “Julia, why are you wearing such clothes? You should change them.” If she had told me what clothes to wear instead, I might have changed, but whenever I tried to ask, she would shut me down, and I could not even bring it up. However, at those moments, I would think it was my fault for distracting her heart, and I offered it up, practicing Semchigo as if I were being loved. I only felt sorry for her for committing sin because of me.

I did not even explain that the clothes were bought for just 1,000 Won at Yangdong Market. “Yes, I will be careful,” I said, and from then on, I wore looser clothes. As the sister continued to treat me this way, the other volunteers around me spoke up. “Veronica is really going too far. How can she nitpick everything you do, even criticizing the clothes you wear or the shoes you wear?”

Then, I quickly replied, “She is not nitpicking. It is the Lord, who loves me, using her to lovingly correct me. The Lord, in case I might become arrogant, is humbling me by continuously cutting me down in this way. She is a benefactor who is helping me to become humble.”

Then they said, “Oh my, what nonsense! I cannot even understand what you are saying. What kind of thing is that to say?” and looked at me as if I were strange. Every time I was persecuted by that sister, I would always respond with “Thank you so much,” or “I appreciate it.”

I always thought of us all as brothers and sisters in the Lord’s love. So I loved everyone—and even that sister who persecuted me—with a pure heart, without a speck of dust. But as time went on, her persecution of me only became stronger. However, the more I was persecuted, the more I sincerely felt the great love of the Lord.

I believed that the Lord was constantly leading me to humility through her, and so whenever I met her, I always greeted her respectfully with words of gratitude.

“Oh! Lord, who loves me dearly and leads me with humility! Thank You. All praise and glory be Yours forever and ever. Only You alone can accomplish this. You, who work through people, knowing that if I were always praised, I might become arrogant, have used sister Veronica to train me, guiding me to continually humble myself and be broken down, leading me toward humility. I am truly grateful.”

Then, I heard the gentle voice of Jesus, saying, “My beloved Little Soul, while many people are swept away by selfishness and the angry waves of distorted love, you have regarded even the obstacles to salvation as a gift that helps you grow in holiness. Without hesitation, you have pressed on and moved forward. This is because it is My fervent love dwelling within you.” “Though I am unworthy, I say ‘Amen.’”

I had been avoiding that sister, and thus I hesitated for a moment, thinking I might cause her distraction if I went to her house together with Rufino. Then, Rufino said, “Julia, we cannot do it without you. I really want you to come with us,” and kept urging me to go. However, since I did not want that sister to sin because of me, as soon as the family consecration ceremony was over, I said, “I think I will just go back to Naju,” and turned to leave.

At that moment, I felt a sharp poking pain in the specific part of my body that the Lord had designated! Then, I realized, “Ah, the Lord wants me to visit her house.” As soon as I thought that, the pain disappeared instantly. I responded with an “Amen!” to the Lord’s will and, with a joyful heart, I began walking toward that sister’s house.

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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