697. The Grace Given as a Bonus When Graciously Offered Up as Little Flowers Woven With Self-Renunciation

💌 697. The Grace Given as a Bonus When Graciously Offered Up as Little Flowers Woven With Self-Renunciation

On the day of the Blue Army retreat at Honam-dong Church in Gwangju, the scorching sun blazed in a cloudless sky. Outside, many religious items and books from the Blue Army were piled up and sold. As the retreatants finished their registration, a sister and President Luke approached and said, “Julia, they said people are not really buying the religious items, so it would be nice if you—with your pleasant expression—could help with the sales too.”

Though my whole body was exhausted, I practiced Semchigo as if I joined Jesus in carrying the cross and responded with an “Amen.” Practicing Semchigo as if taking a break from my extreme suffering, and Semchigo as if I were being loved, I offered it up and helped with the sale of the religious items. Running back and forth, sweating profusely, I prayed fervently, offering up each drop of sweat to the Lord completely so that it would not be in vain.

“Oh Jesus, and Blessed Mother! I offer even these drops of sweat completely to You, so that at least those attending the Blue Army retreat may draw ever closer to the Lord and the Blessed Mother through deep contrition and true tears of repentance, and be led to turn away from all the temptations and sins of the world.” Though my clothes were drenched in sweat, I joyfully continued to help distribute the religious items. Before I knew it, Mass time had arrived.

However, with so many religious items piled up, someone had to stay and guard the area. The other volunteers said, “Julia, please stay and watch the sales booth of the holy items. We will go to Mass and be back soon.” Then, all the volunteers went into the church. I had come to Gwangju with much difficulty because I wanted to listen to the homily of the priest I respected so much, yet…

However, I offered it while practicing Semchigo as if I had listened to the homily. And to prevent them from feeling sorry for me, I smiled brightly and said, “All right. I am okay. Please receive many blessings and come back.” So, I ended up staying and doing the work alone in my suffering.

But I thought, “Even though I cannot attend Mass or listen to the homily, I have come here, and am being used as an instrument of the Lord, how great an honor it is! 

If I had just stayed at home, I could have been lying in pain…” But since I practiced Semchigo as if I were loved by the Lord, I was able to volunteer with great joy. That day, the sun was blazing without a single cloud in the sky, but not even a single tent was set up for shade. As the retreatants and volunteers went inside, I began neatly organizing the religious items that had been scattered around while they were selling them. While doing so, I asked Jesus,

“Jesus, I am organizing these scattered religious items, asking You to restore order for all of us. Therefore, Jesus, please restore the order of the souls of the retreatants, and the volunteers, who have become accustomed to leaving things in disarray and accepting it as normal. I joyfully offer up this pain I am receiving for their sake, so may they all be led to a new resurrection through the grace of repentance.”

As I was organizing the religious items, sweating profusely while offering it as the Prayers of Life, practicing Semchigo as if I was attending Mass in the cool church, president Rufino came up to me. He did not attend Mass, but suddenly came out of the church and said, “Julia, is not the sunlight hot?”

“Yes, it is hot. I also wish I could attend Mass and listen to the homily right now. But if I do not do this, someone else will have to. By doing this work, others can attend Mass and hear the homily comfortably. I am joyfully offering this up, as I am able to do even a little work for the Lord.”

I am so grateful that I can offer sacrifices and reparation for my neighbors, practicing love and making offerings. I also think of the poor souls being purified in the flames of purgatory. Though the volunteers, who should be working alongside me, have naturally entrusted their duties to me and left, I joyfully offer up even the sufferings and every drop of sweat I endure, so that nothing may go to waste — even for their sake."

President Rufino replied, “I am healthy, but I feel embarrassed.” I smiled and said, “You can start anew from now on.” I attended Mass every day. However, on this day, I suddenly had to serve, and since everyone else went to the Mass, they asked me to do it, so I was organizing things on my own as if I were attending Mass.

However, it saddened me that President Rufino, who had come from the mission station where there was no Mass, was not attending Mass and was instead outside for no particular reason. I told President Rufino to offer up with Semchigo as if he had received the Eucharist while attending Mass. I also encouraged him to receive a spiritual communion instead. Then, practicing Semchigo as if I had heard the homily, I joyfully offered the little flowers woven with self-renunciation, on the altar of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. It was offered up as a sacrifice and penance for the torn Sacred Heart of Jesus to be mended, as well as for the repentance of sinners and the souls in Purgatory. So, I did not feel the slightest regret or sorrow; on the contrary, I was filled with immense joy, thinking, “What a great honor this is!” I firmly believed that if we offer up everything with a joyful “Amen,” without letting anything slip by, the Lord will give us the strength to surpass all things and do everything with joy. 

Many of the retreat participants that day said, “Your impression is so good that I naturally feel like buying religious items,” and they purchased many religious items and books. After the retreat ended and the accounting was completed, it was around 7 p.m. At that moment, Father Antonio, the spiritual director of the Blue Army, approached me and asked, “Where are you from?” 

“I am from Naju.”

“It seems that there is something special about you. What brought you here?” he asked. So I shared with him how I had come back to life after being on the brink of death. Father Antonio suddenly exclaimed loudly, “A true servant, indeed!” and placed his hand on my head to pray for me.

In that instant, my heart was filled with joy and exhilaration as if it were soaring to sky. The Holy One who became a sacrificial offering Himself to save all humankind and bring life to this unworthy sinful maid—He has already come as my Savior, rescuing my ailing soul from the swamp of death, and has become my one and only Beloved.

“Lord! Although it may not be as much love as when Abraham gave up Isaac or when Moses renounced his kingship, the sacrifice of what I desired was an expression of my fervent love for You. Although it was a small sacrifice, I was unable to attend Mass or listen to the homily, yet I joyfully offered it up for the Lord and the Blessed Mother. Lord of love who repays a hundredfold, You even bestow far greater graces as a bonus, so now my heart overflows with love and joy, and I rejoice, praising and glorifying You and the Blessed Mother.”

At that moment, I heard the Lord’s affectionate, love-filled voice. “Oh, my beloved Little Soul! The world continues to commit countless offenses against Me—sins that should at least be avoided out of fear, but to you, who joyfully offer up the little flowers woven with self-renunciation every moment, what is there that I would not want to give to you? I want you to make it known to everyone that I gladly accept even the smallest and most insignificant offering when it is made with utmost love and sincerity like yours, and that mere formalities can no longer move My Heart.”

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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