696. Offering It up through Semchigo as If I Had Heard the Homily I Longed for amidst Suffering

💌 696. Offering It up through Semchigo as If I Had Heard the Homily I Longed for amidst Suffering

One day in 1982, I was participating in a retreat organized by the Blue Army. President Luke of the Blue Army and President Paul Lee of the Gwangju Charismatic Movement called me. “Julia, Father Gi-Seon Oh is coming by train. Would you like to go with brother Rufino to pick him up at the train station?”

I briefly thought, “Why ask me to go with a brother I do not even know, and not with a sister?” but then I thought, “There must be some meaning in this!” and responded, “Amen.” So, I went with brother Rufino to pick up Father Gi-Seon Oh. Brother Rufino introduced himself as the president of the mission station on Docho, a small island in Sinan County, Jeollanam-do.

After that, whenever there was a retreat organized by the Blue Army or the Charismatic Movement in Gwangju, he would always seek me out at the mission station on Docho and greet me as someone he knew closely. During the time I was involved with the Charismatic Movement, I became well-known as the “young lady volunteer with the blooming smile,” and almost no one who did not know me, as I was loved by everyone. So, I thought he was one of those people.

But then, he said, “The fact that we went together to pick up Father Gi-Seon Oh is not a coincidence.” He began to approach me more closely. We met whenever there was a retreat hosted by the Blue Army, and we would pray and volunteer together. I appreciated him, especially as he was the mission leader in Docho, a remote area, working to spread the Word of the Lord, so I made sure to take good care of him.

As we served together, I began to learn, see, and hear more of his worldly and human weaknesses. However, I always covered him to help him grow spiritually, and taught him with love whenever he did not know something. He seemed to understand well when I spoke of spiritual matters.

On June 15, 1983, there was a Blue Army retreat at Honam-dong Catholic Church in Gwangju. That day, a priest whom I deeply respected was to celebrate Mass and give the homily. I was lying down, unable to move due to suffering, but like a doe longing for the stream, I was spiritually thirsty so desperately wanted to hear the homily.

I made my difficult way to Honam-dong Church, joyfully offering up each weary step with Semchigo as if I were loved, just to hear the homily. It was when I was about to enter, having paid the 1,000 Won retreat fee. The Blue Army volunteers, seeing that I had come with difficulty in suffering, stopped me and said, “Sister Julia! Could you please help with the service today?”

I did not think, “Why are they asking me to do this while I am suffering?” Instead, I accepted it with joy, thinking it was the Lord’s call. “Yes, the Lord must have called me because He needs me. Practicing Semchigo as if I receive love of God, let each difficult step I take, along with my intense suffering, be joyfully offered up in service to mend the Lord’s torn Sacred Heart and for the repentance of the retreatants and sinners. Amen!”

Without hesitation, I said, “Yes, I will do it,” and began the service, offering up my suffering. I was assigned the task of receiving the 1,000 Won retreat fee and pinning ribbons on the retreatants. It was truly exhausting and painful, but as I meditated on the love of Jesus, who gave Himself up completely even unto death on the cross, I welcomed the retreatants with a heart of self-giving and a bright smile.

Thinking of the brothers as Jesus and the sisters as the Blessed Mother, I offered the Prayers of Life, saying, “Please adorn the souls of the retreatants even more beautifully,” and tied the ribbons with all my heart. I then affectionately greeted them with a bright smile, saying, “May you receive abundant love and grace from the Lord and the Blessed Mother today.” All the retreatants who received the ribbons from me were so happy and said, “Oh my, the grace is overflowing from now on! Just seeing the smiling face of the volunteer, filled with love, already makes me feel better. It seems the grace I will receive today will be great!” and they rejoiced.

In fact, the other volunteers did not greet anyone properly and wore a stoic expression while simply attaching the ribbons. They just hastily pinned them on, and if the retreatants did not move forward quickly enough, they even pushed them along. One of the volunteers, with a look that seemed to say, “Why are they making me do this?” reacted irritably and ended up pricking a retreatant with a safety pin.

There was even a volunteer who gave me a disapproving look after seeing me sharing love with the retreatants while tying ribbons for them. With a heavy heart, I said, “How about tying the ribbons with a smile and some care?” To which she replied, “You yourself put it look pretty.” I felt deeply saddened that they did not accept my loving counsel. However, with a hope that they would awaken, I offered up the pain I received through Semchigo as if I were loved by them, for their spiritual sanctification, praying the Prayer of Life.

“Jesus, I offer up even their disapproving looks practicing Semchigo as if I were loved by them, for the sake of the volunteers. Please, Jesus, change their hearts and help them to attach the ribbons with love. So may the retreatants who receive the ribbons feel the love of the Lord and the Blessed Mother, rejoice, and be filled with abundant graces, becoming children who live according to the Lord’s will.”

From that very moment, they began attaching ribbons with loving greetings, and even before the retreat had begun, the participants’ hearts seemed to open wide. Everyone’s face brightened, and joy spread among them all. “Oh Jesus, You have heard my prayer! Please be with us in the joyful greetings of love that we share, and grant that all the volunteers and retreatants gathered here today may receive the grace of repentance and attain the victory of the Resurrection. Amen.”

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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