684. “Why does Julia suffer, when it is Jesus who rightfully ought to bear the pain?”

💌 684. “Why does Julia suffer, when it is Jesus who rightfully ought to bear the pain?”

From the early dawn, I collapsed and suffered, which must have shocked the family of sister Maria who witnessed it, and I felt truly sorry toward them. Yet, when I heard someone say amidst my suffering, “Please take Julia to the hospital!” I could not help but feel bitter in my heart. Who were they? Were they not the very ones who, whenever the Lord needed me to go to the hospital and offer prayers, would speak ill of me or treat me with disdain?

“She is sick because she refuses to participate in the Charismatic Movement—it is a punishment from God.” “There is no need to go to the hospital. Why go there when prayer should be enough?” Were they not the very ones who had made many such judgments about me when I went to the hospital? Yet now, upon seeing me in pain, they were the ones telling me to go to the hospital. But I barely managed to refuse with a single word, saying, “This is not something that requires a hospital.”

As I continued to writhe in pain, sister Maria, unable to stay still, called the fellow members with whom we had once served in the Charismatic Movement. They laid me down in the center and began to pray. My whole body felt as if it were being wrung out, and even my insides were twisting in agony. Yet, I offered up this excruciating pain with Semchigo as if I had received the Lord’s boundless love, for the sake of those Charismatic volunteers. However, once they began to pray—claiming they had come to pray for me—my suffering only intensified.

They were praying, “Lord, Julia is suffering this punishment because she did not participate in the Charismatic Movement. Please deliver her from this punishment.” I was utterly dumbfounded as I had personally asked the Lord for this suffering, yet they claimed it was a punishment. Nevertheless, I offered up my suffering—including their judgments and absurd words—to Jesus, who turns evil into good, praying, “Jesus! Please transform their misguided prayers into ones aligned with Your will.”

At that moment, sister Elizabeth—who used to always say, “Sister, I respect you the most in this world”—said, “Sister! You are always asking for suffering, but our prayer group members say that is your arrogance. It is Jesus who rightfully should suffer—so why are you taking that upon yourself? They say that you are always suffering, and that too is your arrogance.” 

In that instant, without realizing it myself, a loud and powerful voice burst forth from my lips. “Elizabeth! That is your opinion. Have the saints and martyrs ever said that Jesus alone should suffer and refused to suffer themselves? Have they ever hesitated to suffer, saying, ‘It is Jesus who should suffer’? What, then, is the role of volunteers?”

It is not the role of volunteers to be served. What true servants of the Lord must do is seek what pleases Him and practice love for their neighbors with correspondence of words to actions. Yet the volunteers, rather than taking the lowly place and uniting with the Lord’s suffering, pass judgment on the suffering of their fellow brothers and sisters. How, then, can they properly convey the love of the Lord?

Just as there is only one Lord, although the works we do may differ, we are all one body in Christ working for Him, each with a different calling. Therefore, the only one who has the right to judge is the Lord Himself. Elizabeth! Have you ever truly reflected on the lives of the martyrs?”

Before I could even finish speaking, the volunteers who had gathered to pray suddenly said, "Oh, that is right! That really is true!" Realizing this, they began to cry, and eventually their weeping turned into wailing as they beat their chests and struck the ground in sorrow.

The Lord had allowed me to suffer to awaken their hearts. After weeping for a long while, they finally seemed to calm down, and all of them, one after another, began asking for forgiveness with tears of deep remorse and repentance. “Julia, we were wrong.” “Julia, I am sorry.” “Sister Julia, we have committed a grave sin.” “Julia, we were wrong. Please forgive us…”

At that very moment, my body, which had been completely paralyzed, was restored, and I jumped to my feet, singing praises and giving glory and thanks to the Lord. Reconciliation was finally achieved among us. Until then, though I had suffered many misunderstandings and judgments because of my pain, I had never tried to defend or justify myself. Each time, I accepted everything as my own fault, offering it up as Prayers of Life for their repentance. Trusting and relying completely on the Lord, and rushing toward Him, who had given me suffering as my vocation, I embraced it wholeheartedly.

And now, at just the right moment, had He not answered the prayers I had been offering all along? I reassured the repentant ones with comforting words. “It is all right. Let us start anew from here. If my presence has led you to make judgment, it is all my fault.” I encouraged and consoled them, embracing them with love.

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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