740. Without Even Unpacking the Boxes, in Order to Help Him Open His Eyes

 💌 740. Without Even Unpacking the Boxes, in Order to Help Him Open His Eyes

After moving into Unit 302 of Su-gang Apartment, the very first thing I did was enshrine the statue of the Blessed Mother who wept tears. I put off unpacking the moving boxes and, as I had long hoped, I wanted to help Mr. Andrew Bong open his eyes before anything else. I felt terribly sorry to have placed the Blessed Mother in a home that had not even been tidied yet.

So I prayed earnestly, saying, “Mommy, I am so sorry. Please wait just a little longer. I, this unworthy handmaid, am going to take him to the eye doctor. Please watch over the pilgrims who come to visit You, and please intercede with Jesus so that Your son, Andrew, may have a successful surgery.” Then I rushed over to his house.

After bathing him, I took him to the same Hong Eye Clinic in Gwangju where I had previously visited alone. In fact, with the cost of giving just one person a perm, I could have comfortably taken a taxi from Naju. But I chose the difficult path to offer sacrifices, practicing Semchigo as if I would take it easy all at once. I carried him on my back, resting whenever needed, and made our way to the Naju bus terminal.

From there, we took an intercity bus to Gwangju. After arriving, we transferred to a city bus packed like sardines. We got off at our intended stop and then walked the rest of the way to Hong Eye Clinic. On the way, Mr. Bong spoke in a worried tone: “Oh my, Ma’am, how come it is awfully far? Is it not that we can just take a car to get there?”

I replied, “We could get there straight by taxi,  but nothing is achieved without sacrifice. That is why I am carrying you on my back, dear father. To help you regain your sight, I want to offer even this trivial sacrifice to the Lord. That is why, with a heart of reparation, I have carried you step by step all the way here.”

“But is this not too hard on you?” He asked with concern in his voice. I replied with a smile, “I am okay. Please do not worry about me.” I thought to myself, “If only I could help open his eyes, I will gladly offer this sacrifice a hundred, a thousand times over.” Step by step, I walked for the repentance of all sinners in the world, practicing Semchigo as if I were participating in the love of Jesus, Who carried the Cross for our sins.

At that time, I was offering up intense reparative pains for the sin of abortion, and it felt as though my lower back had completely collapsed. On top of that, I had spondylolisthesis, which caused me various kinds of physical pain. Yet, with every difficult step, my heart was filled with exultantimmersed joy at the thought that I could be in union with Jesus’ suffering and help him regain his sight.

In the midst of that extreme suffering, my heart, striving with all my strength to practice Semchigo as if I were with Jesus and to offer it up more graciously, was filled only with joy and consolation at being able to make such a sacrifice. As I carried him on my back up the stairs to the third floor of Hong Eye Clinic, President Paul Lee Moon Sik from charismatic movement in Gwangju happened to see us.

Startled, he exclaimed, “Oh my, Julia! What in the world is going on? Who is that man you are carrying up the stairs?” He had known me since my days as a catechumen. Whenever he went to pray for parishioners in need of healing, he always took me with him and treated me with affection.

“Hello, president! This is someone who is as  blind as a bat, yet with his eyes open. He has no family or relatives. I have been taking care of him, and I brought him here for eye surgery. If it turns out that his optic nerves are too damaged to operate on, I am ready to give him one of my eyes,” I said without realizing it.

Hearing this, the Chairman was utterly shocked and said: “Oh dear… Clara said that at first, Julia was so pure and good, but now she has completely changed and become arrogant. So I thought, ‘How could someone as kind as Julia have changed like that?’ Even then, I could not believe that Clara, whom you had taken such good care of, could tell such bad lies about you. But you, Julia, are still exactly the same as before. You are kind, considerate of others, and has never turnsturned away from those in need—just like you used to be.” That is what she said. But none of that mattered to me. My heart was too busy with only one thought—helping him regain his sight.

So I said to President Paul, “It is all my fault because I was there. Everything is my responsibility. President, you understand how much I want him to open his eyes and see the light, even if only for a day, right? Please pray that he may regain his sight.” Then I offered it all up with Semchigo as if I were loved by Clara and went up to the ophthalmology clinic to wait for our turn.

Just before our turn, a 75-year-old grandmother with cataracts asked for surgery. These days, even elderly people can usually undergo surgery. But at that time, perhaps because the medical technology was not as advanced as now, the doctor simply said, “You are too old, so it is difficult,” and flatly refused.

Her son pleaded persistently, saying he did not care if she could not see again—he just wanted her to have the surgery—but the doctor was firm. In the end, he refused the surgery, and the son left in tears, leading his mother away. As I watched them walk away in sadness, I made a firm resolution and asked the Lord to be with me.

“Even if the doctor refuses, I will never give up. I will plead with him with all my heart,” I resolved. I led the grandfather into the examination room and said, “Doctor, this is the man I mentioned last time. Please perform the surgery. I beg you to grant my wish.” 

The doctor said, “Well then, let us at least do an examination.” After examining him, he said, “Ma’am, it is absolutely impossible. Not only is the optic nerve damaged, but even the pupils itself is beyond repair. How could we possibly operate on this?” He refused. But giving up was not an option for me. So I asked again, “Doctor! Then would it be possible to transplant one of my eyes to him?”

But the doctor replied, “That is absolutely impossible, too. I just turned away the old lady with cataracts earlier—you saw that.” It was such a hopeless response, but I did not lose the thread of hope and entrusted everything to the Lord. I continued pleading. “Doctor, then please just perform the surgery—even if he cannot open his eyes afterward, just do the operation.” I clung to him earnestly, begging with all my heart.

But the doctor, arms crossed, shook his head firmly and said, “Ma’am, listen. You should at least ask for something with a 0.01% chance. But you are asking for something with a 100% impossibility. This will only tire us both out, so please take him and leave,” and he coldly turned us away.

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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