730. The Moment I Turned It Into Prayers While Burning the Host-Shaped Paper, the Strong Scent of Incense Filled the Air

💌730. The Moment I Turned It Into Prayers While Burning the Host-Shaped Paper, the Strong Scent of Incense Filled the Air

Dragging a bucket full of water, the uphill walk back to the home of elderly man Bong took even more time than it had taken to come down. Lacking strength, I leaned against the wall for support and tried dragging the bucket along the way and was struggling desperately to carry and move it. As I held the handle of the bucket, I meditated on humility and equality—grasping it with my left hand with palm upward and my right hand with palm downward.

I continued dragging the bucket backward while bending, and the pain from my spondylolisthesis felt so terribly as if my back were about to snap. Offering up the suffering for the repentance of sinners, I paused for a moment to straighten my back and catch my breath, then again took another step forward. Though it felt like I was going nowhere, I mustered all my strength with each step—until suddenly, I lost my balance and fell backward with a heavy thud.

I tried with all my might to lift myself up, but my body would not move as I wished. “Jesus! When You fell on the Way of the Cross and gave Your all to rise again—was not that moment even more agonizing than this? Though the suffering of this unworthy sinner cannot compare to Your pain, I offer everything completely to You—please be comforted. I offer infinite thanks for allowing me to partake, even just a little, in Your suffering”

Tears of joy welled up around my eyes. I paused again to catch my breath. “Huff... huff...” Meditating on Jesus who rose again even after falling, I mustered all my strength and stood up. I dragged the bucket with all my might, then stopped to straighten my back and catch my breath—repeating this over and over again. Under the blazing midsummer sun, my bent back and shoulders burned painfully. 

While constantly wiping away the sweat that poured down like rain to my eyes, I fell on my bottom again and again, only to get back up and drag the bucket. At times, the water would slosh over and spill out. I offered up an earnest Prayer of Life, hoping that not even a single drop of the spilled water would be wasted.

“Jesus, You for whom nothing is impossible, please pour down the rain of Your love upon the most pitiful and parched souls in this world, so that their souls and bodies may be enriched with grace. And please transfuse Your Precious Blood into the elderly man as well, healing his soul and body.” Even in the midst of pain, I kept offering up ceaseless Prayers of Life, and barely made it to the kitchen of the elderly man.

Had it been a normal day, I would have been able to lift and pour the water all at once. But now, gasping for breath, I could barely transfer the water into the pot using a dipper—over and over again, dozens of times. It was nowhere near enough for a bath, so I had to go fetch more water. That path from the kitchen to the spring! I meditated on the Way of the Cross that our Lord walked and reflected on His Five Wounds as I made the round trip five times. It took a long time to fetch the water, joining in the Lord’s suffering.

However, as I fervently offered up my Prayers of Life, I believed with all my heart that Jesus Himself was with me—so I was not alone for even a single moment. The more intense the suffering became, the more deeply I immersed myself in the mystery of Jesus’ Passion, and my heart became filled with joy. It must have taken over four hours just to fetch water five times and pour it into the pot.

I struggled to carry the firewood and lit a match to start a fire in the stove but I collapsed with a thud, landing hard on my backside. “Oh Lord, praise, thanksgiving, and glory be to You.” I was about to collapse from exhaustion, but I mustered my strength again and, while feeding the fire, I sincerely offered a Prayer of Life as I carefully burned, one by one, the pieces of Host-shaped paper that I had picked up on the way.

“Oh! My Love, my Everything—Jesus! How sorrowful Your Heart must be, when so many receive You without concern even while in a state of sin, not to mention failing to cleanse and prepare their hearts properly to receive You worthily. 

Although I, this sinful handmaid, am unworthy, I will offer sacrifices and make reparation on behalf of those who trample upon and blaspheme Jesus present in the Eucharist through sacrilegious Communions. May those souls, who were headed toward the path of hell, return to You, Lord, so that You may be consoled and receive praise and glory...!” 

At that moment, the scent of incense filled the air, and the joyful voice of Jesus was heard: “Oh, my Love, my Little Soul! Whenever I see you burning with a simple and pure heart like a child, filled with passionate love and sacrifice for Me, even for a moment, I forget my suffering and overflow with joy. You are my beloved, so precious that even if I put you in my eyes, it would not hurt! Every day, as you meditate on the Cross I carry and offer the Prayers of Life for the repentance of sinners, I am comforted…”

“O Lord, my Love! Though I am so unworthy, I am wholly Yours. Use me as You will. Amen.”

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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