729. Though Drenched in Spring Water, I Crawled Desperately

💌729. Though Drenched in Spring Water, I Crawled Desperately

The shock of the fall blurred even my consciousness. I came to my senses only because of the cold sensation seeping into my clothes. I found myself collapsed in a stream of water, where the overflowing spring had gathered and flowed to one side. Though it was midsummer, the water, gushing from underground, felt piercingly cold to me who was in pain. I reflected deeply on the love from Jesus’ Sacred Heart, which poured out every last drop of blood and water without reserve.

“My beloved Jesus! Please transform this spring water that flows around my body into Your precious Blood, shed for us. Cleanse completely all the sins and the ugly stains of our souls—including the elderly man’s, mine, and those of all the children of the world.” Though I could not move a single finger, I was filled solely with the determination to wash the elderly man.

After struggling to steady my mind, I first pushed the bucket toward the spring. And as I struggled with all my might to move my heavy body that would not obey me at all, I naturally reflected on the loving heart of Jesus—who, though crushed by the heavy cross on the Way of the Cross, fell three times but gave his all to get up again, carrying the cross without ever giving up.

Engraving in my heart the love of the Lord who suffered for my sins, I summoned all my strength to lift myself up. Sitting down, I placed both hands on the ground, pushed with my feet, and dragged my hips as I slowly moved toward the spring. I barely reached it, but even drawing water was not easy. My hands trembled uncontrollably and did not cooperate well, causing more water to spill from the dipper than I could collect.

While filling the bucket with water, I prayed, “Jesus, please transform this water into the precious blood of Your seven wounds shed on the cross, and wash clean the old stains from the soul and body of elderly man Bong, who will be baptized tomorrow, so that he may become a child who glorifies You.” I offered it up with the Prayer of Life and felt an overwhelming joy, becoming incredibly happy beyond the extreme pain.

After dozens of attempts, the bucket finally filled to some extent. Somehow, I crawled and pushed the bucket, summoning all my strength to climb the stairs again. The stairs, which usually take only seconds to go up and down, looked so tall that day... Supporting myself with my arms, I barely managed to climb one step, then crawled and lay down as I dragged the bucket up. I had no strength, but as I forced myself, my entire body shook.

Countless times, my body slipped on the large and small stones and sand scattered across the stairs. How long had I struggled with the bucket of water on those steep stone steps with nowhere to hold onto? Like a butterfly emerging anew before flying into the sky, my tearful struggle for a new birth continued.

The image of the Lord carrying His cross, being scourged, and enduring all kinds of suffering and humiliation came vividly to mind. Though my body was exhausted, I offered up my own struggles, uniting them with the suffering of Jesus.  In the heart with which I offered it, tears welled up like dewdrops on one side, while on the other, a joyful smile naturally broke through.

Since I was wearing short sleeves, the skin on my arms and other parts of my body was scraped and torn, and blood began to flow—but compared to Jesus’ suffering, it was nothing. I cried out to myself countless times, “Julia, you can do it!” Then, using every last ounce of strength I had, I began to lift the bucket with both my arms and body, just barely managing to raise it to the next step.

Desperately trying not to spill the water, I pushed the bucket with all my might—sometimes lying on my back, sometimes lying face down—barely managing to get it up to the mouth of the spring. Crawling and stumbling along the way, I finally reached the top of the stairs, gasping for breath. Leaning against the wall, I used every last bit of strength to lift my dust-covered body to my feet.

Tears flowed down naturally. It was not because of pain, nor sadness, and certainly not because I lacked Mr. Rufino’s help. “If this sacrifice and penance I offer in my suffering can bring even the slightest comfort to Jesus, what greater glory can there be for me?”

“My beloved Jesus! Through this sacrifice and reparation filled with the love of an unworthy sinner like me, may You receive praise, glory, and comfort. Allelujah! I follow the Way of the Cross You walked. I offered it up practicing Semchigo as if Mr. Rufino, who had come with me, had never been there at all. Lord, how deeply You must love me, this sinful handmaid, to now invite me to Your Calvary, where You are alone? I willingly carry the cross You have given me for You and the Blessed Mother. Please look upon this small sacrifice filled with the love of this sinful handmaid and be comforted. Amen!”

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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