765. The Members of the Secular Franciscan Order Who Became Corrupted

💌 765. The Members of the Secular Franciscan Order Who Became Corrupted

As time passed, the members of the Secular Franciscan Order, who had once lived in great unity gradually became corrupted. In other parish groups at that time meetings often turned into sessions of gossip and harsh criticism of others. Experiencing this reality in the Sacred Heart Society pained my heart deeply. That was why I re-established the Secular Franciscan Order—to at least faithfully follow the spirit of our Seraphic Father, St. Francis.

Yet even our Secular Franciscan Order also slowly deteriorated in the same way as the other groups. Those who called themselves disciples of St. Francis would speak ill of others whenever they gathered. My husband and I offered it up while practicing Semchigo as if those unpleasant words were melodies of love and simply remained seated in silence, keeping our place in the meeting room. My heart ached so deeply for them that I offered it up, practicing Semchigo as if I were loved, for the sake of their repentance.

However, thinking of our Seraphic Father, St. Francis weeping in Heaven when he would see the members of the Secular Franciscan Order, unbidden tears began to flow. I prayed earnestly in my heart: “Beloved Jesus! As they say they follow the path of the little ones in the spirit of St. Francis who gave up all wealth and honor to follow You, please forgive those who constantly speak ill—something You and our Seraphic Father dislike—and bless their speech. Bestow on them the grace of repentance, that they may truly walk the way of the little ones.” And within the silence of my soul, I shed tears of blood.

But when I did not join them, they began to slander me out of envy and jealousy. Some members who had once been very fond of me began to speak ill of me and even went so far as to attack Our Lady of Naju.

In particular, sister K, who harbored deep spiritual envy and jealousy toward me and who was appointed as the new formation director openly slandered me even though my husband, the president and I were present. I had supported sister K in many ways since she was single cherishing her like my own younger sister. For every retreat she attended I covered all the expenses. At her wedding, I even did her bridal makeup myself and hosted all the charismatic members who had come from Gwangju, treating them even to dinner before sending them off.

Even though she didn’t utter a single word of thanks, I practiced Semchigo as if she had, and just wished for her to live well. Yet she, in turn, did not hesitate to spread vicious slanders against me in an effort to sideline me. As the formation leader, she stood before the members, supposedly to give a lesson, but in reality to keep her eyes fixed on me—even with my husband, the president, sitting there—and spoke repeatedly about me in a negative way to my face.

No matter what was said, I practiced Semchigo as if I had been loved by our Seraphic Father, and faithfully attended every meeting, because my love and sense of responsibility for the group—founded out of respect and affection for St. Francis—were strong. Despite all the difficulties and insults, I practiced Semchigo as if I were loved by them and offered it up graciously for their repentance, yet the situation worsened and became increasingly difficult.

I took all of this as my fault, believing that it was the cunning work of the devil of division because the Lord loves me deeply. If one is the formation leader, shouldn’t one, as a disciple and bretheren of St. Francis, teach the members lessons with deeper humility and brotherly love?

However, as I saw sister K, who should have taken on that role, judging even more harshly, I wept and asked the Lord to forgive her: “O Jesus! All of this is my fault, for it is my presence that has led them into sin. I offer it up, practicing Semchigo as if I were loved by You, so please forgive them, and grant them the grace to awaken.”

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScMn-IyINZ8oGN8Jv4M0-pozcdF67tEqzlPkk4s0EZKdnOdEw/viewform