594. “It Feels Like Death Would Be Better Than Enduring This Pain.”

💌 594. “It Feels Like Death Would Be Better Than Enduring This Pain.”

Having experienced suffering myself, I felt deeply sorry to see her in such a state. I was well aware that many children simply make promises and vows but often fail to keep them, causing even greater pain to the Hearts of the Lord and the Blessed Mother. Hoping she would come to realize this I offered up Prayers of Life for her. About two weeks later, sister Melania came to visit me.

She struggled even to speak and called out to me urgently, twisting her body in discomfort. “Sister! Sister Julia! Please pray for me,” she pleaded. “What is wrong?” I asked. She replied, “Oh, I have been experiencing uterine bleeding for over a week. After I prayed, asking, ‘Please allow me to share even a small part of Julia’s suffering,’ my menstruation started immediately.

Ouch, ouch! The bleeding still has not stopped. I tried using toilet paper but the area has become raw and it is unbearably sore and painful. I cannot take it anymore—please pray for me. If I have to endure any more pain, I think I would rather die.” It must have been a pain she had experienced before, as women go through menstruation every month.

Sister Melania was in great agony, writhing in pain. Seeing her resent the Lord, I felt deeply sorry and said, “Dear sister, do you see now? I told you not to ask for suffering if you cannot offer it up completely. If you had not asked for it, the Lord would not have had to hear your complaints. Having asked for suffering but failing to offer it up properly—how much pain must our Lord’s Heart have felt who stays in your heart?”

“You are absolutely right. I will never ask for suffering again. I will only offer praise to Jesus. Please, intercede with the Blessed Mother for me.” “I will intercede for you but from now on, you must never carelessly ask the Lord or the Blessed Mother for suffering.” “Yes, yes, I promise I will not do it again. Please pray for me right away.” And so, I prayed for her.

The next day, she spoke to me in a cheerful voice, saying, “Thank you for praying for me. The bleeding stopped right away. I feel like I could fly! I will never ask for suffering again. When I experienced the pain myself, it felt as though I was carrying the heaviest cross, and at one point, it seemed like I was on the verge of death. Sister Julia, how on earth do you endure such suffering every single day as if it is nothing, and still manage to smile even in the midst of it?”

I smiled and said, “It is not by my own strength, but through the power of love from Our Lord and the Blessed Mother. If you accept everything as ‘my fault’ and offer it up with Semchigo as if you have been loved, it becomes possible.” Then she exclaimed, “Oh my goodness, I felt like I was going to die from just this bit of pain. How can you possibly receive so many countless sufferings?”

“God has trained me in the furnace of suffering from a very young age and has saved me from death multiple times. In the end, I was even sentenced to death with a diagnosis of terminal cancer but through God’s grace, I survived from the brink of death, received baptism and became a child of God. Since then, I have been running a beauty parlor which has allowed my family to make a living.

So, I decided to dedicate my entire life to the Lord and the Blessed Mother, Who saved me, a sinner who had no choice but to die. I asked for suffering so that I could share in the sufferings of Jesus and the Blessed Mother, Who desire the salvation of all the children of the world and are still suffering. ‘If this unworthy sinner could contribute even just a tiny speck to fulfilling the Lord’s will, how happy the pain would be, even if the path of following the Lord is a difficult and thorny road filled with pain!’

Day and night, I placed my hope and cried out, ‘Please hear the prayer of this unworthy one, so that I may become an instrument to reveal the Glory of the Lord.’ This is how I offered myself. So, you do not have to help me. I will offer it up well with Semchigo as if you had helped, as sacrifice, penance, and love.” Sister Melania did not say anything more.

“Oh! My Lord, my Love! This unworthy sinner will become a grain of wheat that falls to the ground and dies, blooming beautiful flowers of love and bearing fruit, to be food for many souls. May the Lord and the Blessed Mother be praised and consoled through this unworthy sinner.”

“Yes, My beloved little soul! You are My comfort. Many souls easily say they will share in My suffering on the Cross but when they face even the smallest Cross in their lives, they immediately set it down or throw it away, seeking comfort instead.

Not only that! They are even unwilling to bear the small crosses they are meant to carry, so how are they any different from a tree that bears no fruit? Yet, even at this moment, I open My Sacred Heart and pour down the Light of Mercy, so that all the children of this world may be saved through the Cross.”

“O, o my Love, my Beloved! May all Your children in this world open their spiritual eyes, embrace Your noble love and be united in all the graces that enrich human existence, live the life of resurrection in every moment. Amen!”

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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