778. When I Completely Offered Myself to the Lord Alone

  778. When I Completely Offered Myself to the Lord Alone

My body was in such a fragile state that it wouldn’t have been surprising if I had collapsed at any moment, yet by the Lord’s protection, I safely arrived at the home of President Aloysius Kim in Gwangju. Wanting not to show any signs of pain, I greeted the brothers and sisters in Christ with a bright smile of love and joined them in the Holy Hours Devotion. As the Lord once said, “When you fast, wash your face and anoint your head,” I followed His words. 

Knowing this might be the last Holy Hours I would ever attend in my life, I wore makeup to cover my haggard appearance, so no one knew I was gravely ill. And my face was filled with a joyful smile toward death, and no one could have possibly known I was a patient preparing for the end.

And they said, “Julia is always sick because she stopped participating in the charismatic movement and is being punished by the Lord.” So, in order to prevent them from judging any further, I greeted them with an even warmer smile. Though I hid my intense suffering behind a bright smile, I was too weak to sit upright, so at first, I prayed lying down. 

Some people looked at me strangely, but I offered it up, practicing Semchigo as if their gaze was the loving eyes of Jesus and the Blessed Mother. Then one sister said, “Ah, if you’re going to pray sprawled out like that, why bother crawling all the way here instead of just praying at home?” My presence made that sister uncomfortable, so I took all as my fault, practicing Semchigo as if I were loved, and offered her up to the Lord, asking for His forgiveness.

“Lord, I offer up this sister to You. Though I am greatly lacking, I have desired to give my life for the repentance of sinners. So please accept me, this sister and all these children into Your most precious Sacred Heart. And since it’s my fault she speaks negative words, please bless her lips so that she may speak only holy words, and sanctify her spiritually.” I offered it up through the Prayers of Life.

Believing that this might be the last communal prayer I would ever offer to the Lord in my lifetime, I was filled with an earnest longing to make reparation for the insults He receives. And before I knew it, I was immersed in fervent prayers.

“Oh, my Jesus! Thank You. I thank You for saving me who was supposed to die and allowing me to live until now. Thank You for letting me come to know You, for pouring out Your great love upon me, and for every grace and love  You have given me. This unworthy sinner is now about to return to Your side.”

As time went on, I sank deeper and deeper into the Sacred Heart of the Lord. I cried out to Him, “God the Father, who created all things with a single word, I know well how small and insufficient I am before Your greatness. Yet through the suffering and death of this sinful maid, please bless them so that as many sinners as the stars in the sky, the grains of sand on the shore, and the drops of water in the ocean may repent and bring glory to You. 

If by offering my life to You the whole world can be saved according to Your will, what greater happiness could there be? Let Your love spread throughout the whole world and reach even the heavenly throne.”

While I was deeply absorbed in this prayer my mind suddenly became hazy and it felt as if everything had stopped all at once. I thought to myself, “Ah now the Lord must be about to take me.” At that moment, the Lord’s gentle and loving voice was heard loud and clear.

“Oh, My precious little one, so dear to Me that I could place you in My eyes without pain. My extremely beloved Little Soul! You have already offered even your life for Me and for the world, and because that love is perfectly united with My supreme love, which I poured out for the salvation of humanity, I cannot help but love you. My dear daughter who meditates deeply with pure love on My life from the manger to the death on the Cross, who does not blame even a betrayal like that of Judas, but only longs for all the children of the world to return to Me!

Now, hurriedly rise. You have already been specially chosen as a witness for My Mother and for Me, and from now on, as one of the persons who have been saved and set apart from the world, you will lead many souls to Heaven. The beautiful offering of love that you present through every moment of suffering, sacrifice, and reparation will play a great role in saving this world that has rebelled against God. In the not-so-distant future, the Kingdom of My Sacred Heart will be established throughout the world, and all the angels and saints in Heaven will rejoice and dance with joy.”

As soon as the Lord’s words ended, my entire body somehow came alive, fully restored to normal and as light as a feather. My body that just moments ago could not support itself was now sitting up in prayer, and the urine that had been leaking involuntarily against my will had completely stopped.

For months, no hospital could do anything, and no method worked. But when I offered my life completely for the Lord, my beloved Lord once again raised me from the inevitable death and gave me a new life. While praying deeply, I found myself weeping without even realizing it. I confessed with gratitude the Lord’s infinite mercy.

“O my Lord, my Love, You have washed my dirty soul and body clean with the Precious Blood You shed for me and brought me back to life. This unworthy and trivial sinner now lives again. Use me according to Your holy will. Receive all praise, thanks, glory, and adoration. Amen.”

When the Holy Hours ended and I returned to the house in Naju, my family who had been worried about me were amazed and overjoyed. I had left the house wearing adult diapers, but I returned smiling brightly and full of life. We all rejoiced together and praised the greatness of the Lord.

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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