766. I Was Excluded Even From the Solemn Vows I Had Longed for

💌 766. I Was Excluded Even From the Solemn Vows I Had Longed for

It wasn’t just sister K who severely persecuted me—another formation leader also played a role. Back in 1987 when I was preparing to make my final vows, L, the formation leader of the Secular Franciscan Order, thoroughly obstructed me from doing so. As part of the process for making perpetual vows there was a formation program. At one point, I was invited to make Our Lady of Naju known and had to miss a session—just once—for that reason. 

Because L did not accept Naju they told me to submit a written report. I described in detail what I had done that day explaining that I had missed the session due to an invitation and my work for the Blessed Mother. But L demanded yet another report. (This same formation leader later gave false testimony on a certain TV program.)

Even though I obediently wrote a new report, they excluded me from making perpetual vows without an explanation. They handled the situation in that manner without the slightest regard for the fact that my husband was the president of the Secular Franciscan Order. My husband who is gentle by nature and not someone who can speak strongly to others couldn’t say a word to them, even though he was the president. And so in 1987, he ended up making his perpetual vows alone.

But I said to myself, “That’s okay. Let me take this as being loved through Semchigo just like our Seraphic Father who walked the path of love as a little one. Surely the fact that the formation leader and others secretly prevented me from making my vows is an expression of the Lord’s love. He allowed it so that I could become smaller and lower myself even more.” With that mindset I offered everything up with Semchigo as if being loved, and accepted those who persecuted me as spiritual benefactors who made me humble.

I embraced the persecution as a great honor for making Our Lady of Naju known. However, whenever I saw those who should have been examples to others sinning because of me, my heart ached deeply—not only for the Lord but especially thinking of how heartbroken our Seraphic Father must be in Heaven. In fact I had worked so hard to re-establish the Franciscan Order—I even personally brought the entire leadership team from Gwangju myself!

Because I missed one formation session due to being invited to share the Messages of Our Lady of Naju I was prevented from making my Perpetual Profession and had to wait three whole years for the next one. However, as I reflected on the 30 years of Jesus’ life spent preparing and waiting for His public ministry—which itself lasted only three years—I embraced that period of waiting as a time of humility; a chance to grow ever more humble.

During the long preparation period I strengthened my resolve to more closely resemble the spirituality of our Seraphic Father. I did my utmost to spread the Blessed Mother’s Messages of Love—a mission entrusted to me by the Blessed Mother who appeared shedding tears.

On May 13, 1990 after a long wait I was finally able to make my Perpetual Profession. Although my husband, the president, was powerless in this situation and the many hardships I endured flashed before my eyes like scenes in a movie, my heart was filled with a renewed sense of meaning as I made my Perpetual Profession.

I renewed my commitment, saying in my heart, “Seraphic Father Francis! Embracing your spirit I will strive to learn and live poverty more faithfully, and do my best to follow the Lord’s will.”

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScMn-IyINZ8oGN8Jv4M0-pozcdF67tEqzlPkk4s0EZKdnOdEw/viewform