💌 560. My Husband’s Total Lack of Empathy Hurt My Tender Heart Even More

The day my mother got injured, my husband came home from work and asked, “What happened?” when he saw her lying down. Normally, I let things go no matter what happened, but this time, I told him about what my mother-in-law had done. I tried to keep it brief to avoid upsetting him but his expression darkened.

He then dismissed me with a curt expression and tone, leaving me unable to say another word. His attitude caused me so much pain. My tender heart, unable to quickly offer up my mother-in-law’s behavior that caused my mother’s injury, must have been shedding invisible tears of blood.

Far from comforting my painful heart, my husband’s cold total lack of empathy and turning away only deepened my pain. Was he not the one who knew well how much effort my mother and her sisters put into preparing for his mother’s 60th birthday celebration over the past several days? And he was the one who knew better than anyone how much my mother had supported our family. His brusque remarks felt like they were digging into my tender, wounded heart.

If only he had said like, “Honey, we are still young and healthy, so let us offer up these difficulties, shall we?” my heart would have melted like spring snow. No matter how hard my husband had made things for me, I had never regretted choosing him. However, at that particular time, “If I had married an orphan and devoted myself to him, how much better would it have been? Then I could have taken better care of my own mother…” Even this thought crossed my mind.

However, since he is the one I myself had chosen as my husband, I offered it up with Semchigo as though I have received his love and that he has also comforted me. As a result, I did not show any of my disappointment and continued to care for him with even more love.

Although my heart was pained, I unconditionally forgave my mother-in-law’s actions just as Jesus forgives my sins. However, I struggled to offer up the humiliation my mother underwent, as my narrow heart could not fully offer it up. Even though I attended Mass to meet Jesus, I could not possibly receive the Eucharist in such a state of mind.

During the time for Holy Communion, I was unable to receive the Eucharist in person and instead prayed for a spiritual communion. I fervently asked Jesus, “Oh Jesus, I have forgiven my mother-in-law. But my heart is hurting as if it were being torn apart, knowing that my mother who, in fact did nothing wrong, had endured so much for the sake of my mother-in-law, has to suffer even such things.” Not to mention my failure to care for her with filial devotion, the deep wound this incident will cause my mother breaks my heart badly.

Oh! My beloved Jesus! Please forgive my mother-in-law just as You forgive all the sins of this unworthy sinner. I also pray that my mother-in-law may be reborn in the Lord and develop a heart that knows how to be grateful.

I also offer up this painful heart to You, Lord. Please take control of my heart and lead me to offer up even what I cannot offer up completely and graciously. May the Lord be glorified, the Blessed Mother be comforted and may we all live a life of resurrection with the gratitude that never dries up. Amen!”

My personal reflection note with Mama Julia🌹💗 

Link 👇🏻

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